Truly, if they were any cuter we would have to eat them. I can’t tell you why (though I will try), but I find the public display of new love between poptart Jessica Simpson, and her boyband singing husband (formerly of 98 Degrees) Nick Lachey both deeply amusing and inexplicably …

What in the Sam Hell is going on in this country? When did some liberals take it upon themselves to become a bunch of racist, bigoted, tired old buttplugs? Okay, I guess you can’t really count people like Hesiod as a real “liberal” as he is clearly from another galaxy …

Pete Rose bet on baseball! And now, 15 years later he is sorry. Why should anyone care? I grew up discussing this very controversy with my dad, a sports fanatic. It was one of the few things we could really get deep about and I loved to hear his wise …

Of course we all know about diapers, onesies, receiving blankets and binkies - but there are some other essentials that first time parents should know about.

As we approached the exit for the hospital I told Eric, "We better hurry, I feel funny". Eric assured me that we had plenty of time and to relax.

A violent sociopath CANNOT be rehabilitated, so why bother. Isolation or execution is the only solution.

What it's really like to have a baby.

When you have fame and money, who needs a brain, a personality and proper perspective?

my butt. Just kidding. Seriously, how are you spending your holidays?

Or to cover up their impotence and very small penis.