Real Men Use Guns – To Prove They Are Men

What is it about men and guns? Is it some penis extender that makes them feel all manly about being able to blow someone’s brains out from say, 50 yards away? Is that manly?

Guns are fine for women who are being stalked and professional enforcers, such as police officers, body guards, military personnel or anyone who needs them for work, but to possess them in alarming numbers, and then talk about how many rounds of ammunition they wasted on targets, bodies or woodland creatures seems so REALLY FUCKING STUPID.

I think the most appalling thing is when I accidentally come across a site that has images dedicated to their “favorite” guns. A large pixelation of their weapon of choice. IT SCREAMS CLOSET GAY to me.

“OOOH, look at my gun, see it’s all hard and steely, and can make mince meat of your internal organs.”

Which in other words might mean:

“OOOH, look at my penis, see it’s all hard and steely, and can make mince meat of your internal organs.”

For a group of men attempting to assert their manly status, using a gun is MOST unmanly.

It’s not that I want to ban guns, or take them away from any law abiding person who wants one. But glorification of weapons is pointless at best, and harmful at worst. If you want to own a weapon for protection of your home and person, by all means own one. But what purpose does it serve to glorify said tools of protection?

I like to garden and work in the yard. Should I post pictures of my rake and trowel and fawn all over them like they were my children? Should I discuss in detail the very minutia of their steely goodness and how well they rip dirt from the unrelenting ground and give me calluses because I JUST CAN’T TAKE MY HANDS OFF MY EVERLOVING SHOVEL. Unless of course you pry it from my cold, dead, dirt-covered, lifeless fingers.

Just because a man isn’t into guns, does NOT mean he is “unmanly” or “queer” it just means that he thinks that pounding someone’s face in the dirt and forcing mulch in their mouth is a more satisfying way of saying “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.”

Plus, I don’t know anyone who’s going to jail for 10 to 20 for a little mulchmashing.

Really, all of you gun-toting, munitions-loving, critter-shooting, penis-extending, impotence-covering manly men need to take a long, hard look at yourself and ask “what is my gun obsession covering up about my person?” Maybe it’s your small and shriveled penis, maybe it’s not.