Friday , April 12 2024
Dear God, please don’t let there be a Volume Two!

DVD Review: Women’s Extreme Wrestling: Volume One

Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking by watching this. Nor do I know what I was expecting. No, wait — that’s an outright lie. Just because I’m cheating myself doesn’t mean I need to insult your intelligence as well. I’ll tell you exactly what I was expecting by popping Women’s Extreme Wrestling into the DVD player: jiggling boobies. And bouncing booties, too.

And, while Women’s Extreme Wrestling provides ample amounts of both, I never felt the urge to kneel on the floor and praise whatever force of nature inspired me to put it into my DVD player to begin with.

Women’s Extreme Wrestling is about what you’d expect to find on the USA Network, circa 1995, at three o'clock in the morning. The DVD presents three “episodes” (each running about an hour in length) of girls doing nothing but televised wrestling in front of a small audience of extremely bored men and strangely excited teenagers. It’s not even good wrestling, either. Granted, such as thing as “good wrestling” is the sporting world’s epitome of an oxymoron (hell, is this even a sport?), but Women’s Extreme Wrestling did nothing for me whatsoever: as a sports enthusiast (which I am not) or as a horny guy (which I most certainly am).

Returning to the true nature behind my initial inquisitiveness of Women’s Extreme Wrestling, I again refer to the stars of these programs: women. A few of these sluttishly-attired ladies may, perhaps, encourage a small Southern uprising in a diminutive percentage of men. And then there are the “other” ladies present in these matches. Ladies that make pro-wrestlers like Kane look femme. I have to confess I feel this overwhelming air of apprehension at even referring to these WEW ladies as actually being active members of the female species in the first place. Former UFC personality Ken Shamrock has less testosterone floating throughout his body than some of these girls. Seriously, they’re scary. But they’re also boring, and the sight of them pretend-punching other beefy-T-sized entities in a ring of ropes just really isn’t worth the effort of my good-natured ribbing.

The DVD of Women’s Extreme Wrestling is a bare bones release. The three episodes are shown back-to-spine-numbing-back with only a lymphatic music video sandwiched in between the first two offerings to break the monotony. Presented in the standard format of 1.33:1, this footage was undoubtedly filmed live by a desperate auditorium owner who was anxious to get the most use out of his building before the bank repossessed it. The image quality here is nothing worth noting, nor is the audio quality. The cover art text is also thoroughly misleading (especially for the horny people), dubbing episodes as “Nude Booty Kick” and so forth. The DVD menu itself reveals the actual, not-as-appealing titles (“Nude Booty Kick” suddenly becomes “Hot Booty Kick” and so forth).

Look, you get what you pay for with this one — let’s put it that way. And, seeing as how Women’s Extreme Wrestling costs a whopping $10 (MSRP), that’s saying a lot.

About Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the alter-ego of a feller who loves an eclectic variety of classic (and sometimes not-so-classic) film and television. He currently lives in Northern California with four cats named Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Margaret. Seriously.

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