Thursday , December 6 2018
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Vegetarians, Look Away

This guy has his 2-year-old waving the scepter of life and death over turkeys:

    ‘I want to eat that one, Daddy!” These may not be the words every father dreams of hearing from his 2-year-old daughter as she points to a live animal – but on the eve of Thanksgiving, they were definitely a step in the right direction.

    ….I didn’t know what to expect when I brought her to Hemlock Hill Farm in upstate Cortlandt Manor to pick out a live turkey for our holiday meal.

    “Remember, sweetie,” I told her, “we’re going to make friends with a turkey and then we’re going to eat it.”

    ….Teaching her that we eat turkeys didn’t turn out to be that difficult. Not to sound specie-ist, but turkeys are ugly, with their pale pink necks, horn-like knobs between their eyes, ostrich-like heads and pre-historic gait.

    And they all look alike, so it’s difficult, even for a 2-year-old, to get attached to any one bird.

    “So, sweetheart, which one should we eat?” I asked her. She looked over the flock before pointing to a particularly aggressive bird that stared her down meanly: “I want to eat that one!”

    For the record, I didn’t bring my daughter into the slaughterhouse, where our bird was electrocuted, killed, relieved of its blood, tossed into scalding hot water, spun in a de-feathering machine, gutted and cleaned.

    But I did let her help carry the dead bird out to the car and assist me when I cooked it later.

    And she didn’t need any prompting after she finished her plate: “I want more turkey!” [NY Post]

That’ll teach that damn bird to give kids the evil eye.

I have nothing against turkeys, but I wish we still ate goose for holiday meals. I hate geese: they are mean, agressive, they crap all over our park. Back in California 15 years ago, a huge goose at the park we went to out there literally attacked my then 4-year-old daughter, scared the hell out of her, knocked her down, and I took great pleasure in kicking that fat, vile sack of venom for a field goal. Some animals are just begging to be eaten: it’s not all pupppies and bunnies out there.

About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014.Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: [email protected], Facebook.com/amhaunted, Pinterest America's Most Haunted.Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.

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