New Meaning to “Total Recall”

Total recall from a singing head:

I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of tech-savvy people smugly showing off that new hunk of entertainment hardware, the iPod personal stereo. Well, I might not have the scratch to get one, but frankly, I don’t want the white-corded wonder. I have my very own iPod—in my mind.

I hear those little things carry up to a month’s worth of music. Well, so does my mind. I can call up any song I’ve ever heard, any time I want. And I never have to load software or charge batteries. There are no firewire cords or docks to mess with. I just put my hands behind my head, lean back, and select a tune from the extensive music-library folder inside my brain.

Thirty gigabytes? So what? I know 7,500 songs, maybe more. Some songs, I forget I even have until they come around on shuffle. Why, just the other day, my mind started playing David Naughton’s “Makin’ It,” a song I hadn’t heard in years. And the sound quality was great!

Easy downloads? You don’t know the meaning of the word “easy.” And I don’t have to know the meaning of the word “download.” You may get MP3s off the Internet, you smug scenester, but I can get music off the television, the radio, even a passing ice-cream truck. If I don’t want to waste the memory space on a high-fidelity copy, I just don’t pay very close attention. Now, that’s what I call convenience.

All I have to do is hear a song once or twice, and it’s stored forever…. [The Onion]