Blogcritics The critical lens on today's culture & entertainment
Shock! Outrage! I could just cry. Tonight’s American Idol shocker is that rocker Constantine is going home. In a typical AI tactic, they had it down to two camps with just Scott and Constantine. Ryan asked them each to pick a group to be in between Carrie/Bo or Anthony/Vonzell – well of course the arrogant fatass Scott assumed that he was safe and he followed Constantine to the Bo/Carrie group.
Ryan delivered the bad news to America, that in fact, Scott the Knob was the safe one, and of course Scott had to throw a fat, greasy finger in the air that he was “da BOMB” as in large, round and globular.
Oddly enough, it really was time for Constantine to go – not that he wasn’t worthy or a great performer, but because it really isn’t in the cards for him to win a competition like this. He should take massive advantage of the mileage, experience, exposure and go back and concentrate on what he is good at, making women cream their jeans in true front man style.
Scott continues to defy all odds: like the odds that a hugely unappealing, sullen, grouchy, uber-creepy douche can continue to make as Michele so aptly put it “the tube top, spandex” groupie crowd vote for him. Or as I like to put it, the “my-daddy-didn’t-love-me-enough-angry-urban-fat-man” crowd.
Whoever you are, if you continue voting for Scott, you are in fact, causing Jesus’ eyes to bleed and the four horses of the apocalypse are going to be like hellhounds on your trail following you to the farthest ends of the earth, haunting you like the pariah lepers you are.
Die heathen voters, die.
Oh, and that rendition of “Emotions” left me with some emotions of my own: pain, joylessness and the feeling that I will never see the light of day again.
