It used to be so easy.
Back in the days when Stone Cold Steve Austin and the N.W.O. ruled Monday nights, there was absolutely no question about where your ass would be parked that evening. Two hours of Monday Nitro on TBS followed by another two of WWF Raw on USA was pretty much the rule. But that was then, and this, unfortunately, is now.
Wrestling has pretty much sucked ever since Vince McMahon's WWF (now WWE) won the Monday Night Wars of the nineties. The most compelling storyline going into Wrestlemania revolves around whether McMahon's head gets shaved or Donald Trump's. Now I ask you — does anybody honestly believe for a New York second that Trump is getting his head shaved? Nope. You can telegraph that one a mile way.
But the other thing that has completely screwed up Monday nights is 24. Like I said, it used to be so easy. You could just DVR the latest episode of 24, and watch it right after Raw. Which right about now at this point in the season has become somewhat essential with the return of the fabulously Nixonesque character Charles Logan. In his scruffy beard, Logan is these days looking for all the world like nothing but a post-Watergate Tricky Dick trolling the beaches of San Clemente with a metal detector.
As preposterous as the storylines are (I mean would you want the so-called "heroes" of 24 covering your ass as the world went to hell in a hand-basket?), 24 still makes for damn compelling, edge-of-your-seat television. But speaking of heroes, here is where things get really screwy.
As much as Monday Night Wrestling has basically sucked the past few years, and as much as 24 has provided a viable alternative to all of this, NBC had to go and really muck things up with this great little show called Heroes.
Now I don't know about you, but my DVR will only tape two shows at a time. Three is pretty much out of the question, which means something has got to go. And the thing about Heroes is that it has rather quietly become something of an essential show these past few weeks.
I mean how can you not love this unlikely cast of characters charged with the task of basically saving the world? Just last week, they teased several new plotlines that are really going to piss me off if any of them actually pan out — such as the supposed death of Mr. Evil Paper-guy and the breakup of the team of Japanese nerds par excellence, Hiro and Ando.
So I guess something has got to go on Monday night.
And until Vinnie Mac really shocks me like he used to do back in the days of Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock, I guess it's goodbye Monday Night Wrestling. The good news is I can least still read the spoilers.
Word to the networks though — can you at least try spreading things out a bit?