Satire: Culling The Herd

It is obvious that something has to be done. Things have been going from bad to worse — loss of habitat and increasing overpopulation have been putting a strain on the species’ ability to maintain sustainable healthy levels.

Behaviour patterns that could initially be overlooked have now become so predominant that the tranquility and harmony necessary for continued existence have been threatened. Overcrowding, inbreeding, and pockets of isolationist behaviour have combined to cause all sorts of anti-social tendencies to manifest themselves.

Incest, violence between mates, offspring being abused, abandoned and left to fend for themselves show that breeding patterns have been adversely affected by these trends. But it doesn’t stop there. Interrelationships outside of that dynamic have become untenable as well.

Simple interactions between males of the species, and even females, have become fraught with tension. Foraging behaviours have become more aggressive as more are competing for less. Instead of the previously seen inclination toward compassion, the elderly, lame, and others unable to fend for themselves are being left to the mercy of predators and the elements.

Worse yet is an increase of clashes that are not based on survival. There appears to be a continual struggle to assert dominance over each other at a personal and species level. Dominant males have become far more belligerent, utilizing their strength not just to secure better forage and favour among females, but to impose their will on lesser elements within the species.

This in turn has given rise to resentment among those less developed, and has caused an increase in bellicose behaviour. Respect for standards of social norms, regarding the resolution of disagreements, have fallen by the wayside. Instead of direct confrontations between individuals to solve disputes, there has been a steady increase in attacks on secondary individuals.

Another disturbing trend that has been noticed due to the alarming increase in population is the continual degradation of the species’ natural habitat. Not only have normal sources of food become depleted from the effects of over-foraging, but also their supply of fresh water has rapidly diminished.

The major culprit in this increased amount of refuse that comes with increased numbers. Not only does that foul surface water supplies, but it also contaminates the water table. As fresh water becomes scarcer, the chance of disease spreading increases, and the overall hopes of species survival diminishes.

As they are forced to cohabit in less and less territory, the incidence of disease increases dramatically. Aside from the fear of water-borne, waste-generated bacterial illnesses that can debilitate thousands, (and increase the waste disposal situation substantially) a sizeable increase in viral type infections and ailments has been noted.

Given the chance of continual incubation due to overcrowding, these viruses mutate too rapidly for immune systems to develop defences. Individuals may be able to resist an initial strain, but a second- or even third-generation mutation could easily overcome their defences.

Obviously, the situation is fast approaching a critical stage for the species. Unless some type of drastic action is taken in the near future, there is the very real possibility that they could face extinction. While on the one hand this may be seen as a desirable result by some, that takes a rather shortsighted view of the situation.

All species, even ones like this that seem to have no redeeming qualities in terms of what they give back to the planet, have a role to play. They would not have developed and evolved otherwise. No matter how tempting it might be to let humanity die out because of their own stupidity, we owe it to the world to attempt to keep them alive.

It’s obvious that the normal means of keeping their population in check, mortality and susceptibility to death from injury and illness, have not been sufficient. It has become necessary for us to intervene before it becomes too late. The obvious solution is to begin a cull.

But this cannot be just a cull of the sick and the lame, because that won’t solve any of the problems. No, we must have a systematic cull that eliminates individuals from all strata of what they call society. Only then will be there a chance of them finding a balance in the future.

Leaving just the avaricious and powerful alive would only allow the conditions that caused the problem in the first place to be reproduced. We will also have to reduce their numbers significantly enough to allow their habitat to recover, and disease to die out.

Therefore it is this council’s recommendation that seventy-five per cent of the existing human population be eliminated post haste. We see it as their best chance of survival.