Satire: Britney Says “F*ck It,” Marries Self

Britney Spears, weary after two failed attempts at marriage this year — the first in January to childhood friend Jason Alexander (not THAT one) in a “surprise” (intoxicated) Las Vegas wedding that was described as a “joke” and annulled 55 hours later, the second just last weekend to “dancer” Kevin Federline, for which the couple couldn’t quite figure out the complexities of a marriage license nor complete the pre-nup in time — decided that she didn’t really need another actual person to help her with this “marriage thing,” and exchanged vows with herself in a private ceremony described as “dignified.”

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