Men’s Pants: The Lower the Better

I love when men wear their pants low. The lower the better — below the butt is fabulous.

I love it because it’s funny. It’s funny that they have to grab their pants all the time so they don’t slide off. It’s funny that they can’t walk normally because their pants constrict everything between their knees and their hips. It’s funny that they think this is a good look for them.

But the real reason I love it: men are finally hobbling themselves for fashion. Women have been doing it for years, with high heels, short straight skirts, strapless dresses they have to keep tugging up lest they fall out of them. It’s about time men got a taste of it. And maybe some women will look at the stupid pants and realize how stupid they look teetering around on their stilettos.

The next milestone will be when men actually injure themselves for fashion. Confidential to high-heel wearers: how are those bunions doing? And the back pain? Maybe try some acupuncture, but definitely don’t lose the fabulous shoes.