There is a fine line between humor and offense, between funny and not funny, between respect and obedience, and magically the folks behind this product manage to walk that line and make a damn fine grilled cheese sandwich in the process. I would call that a worthwhile definition of success.
The Grilled Cheesus ($39.95) is exactly what you picture in your head before ever being told what it does. It’s a medium-sized grilled cheese press (a sort of one-size-down version of a George Forman grill), which not only makes you a nice tasty grilled cheese sandwich, but also imprints an image of Jesus Christ on both sides! No more searching in the woods for miraculous trees that cry or potato chips in his image; the miracle is right there on your plate, but be careful, it’s likely still hot.
You might be thinking this is a terrible and offensive product to those who hold Christianity close to their hearts, but before you go damning anyone to the everlasting fires of Hades (likely a place that would far overcook a good grilled cheese sandwich), the company behind this is making it out of a healthy respect and love as far as I can tell from their site. They donate the profits around the world, mainly to causes regarding world hunger, which sounds pretty damn charitable and Jesus-like to me.
But beyond their use of the image, the real test is how the food comes out and after a handful of trial runs I can attest that it is simple, easy to clean up and pretty much nails it every time. The image that appears on your bread may not come out as clear as it does in the image above or on the box, but it can vary a lot depending on the type of bread you are using and the amount of butter you put on (the butter is really the key to creating the browning action.) Along with the Grilled Cheesus, the company also sent along a bonus container of another of their products, Jesus H. Spice ($9), a unique blend of ingredients. My wife had the genius idea to sprinkle some on the sandwich before grilling and let me tell you, that was a fantastic move. They never ate this well in the Bible, for sure.
This is really the perfect gift for those with a healthy sense of humor or someone looking for their workplace White Elephant gift exchange, but be warned, if you try it out for yourself, you might not want to give it away.