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If you liked Ron Jeremy in Orgazmo, then this is for you.

DVD Review: One-Eyed Monster

The delicate line between porn flicks and “regular” cinema is broken once again as Ron Jeremy lends his, er, um, “talent” to One-Eyed Monster.

The cast and crew of a porn quickie venture up to the mountains of Northern California to work on their latest direct-to-video hit in seclusion, where the filmmakers can work in peace, without the film’s backers breathing down the neck of slimy producer Jim (Jeff Denton, who looks like the lovechild of Zach Braff and Michael Vartan) and his crew of professionals (Jason Graham, Caleb Mayo, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s Amber Benson). Among the faces are veteran porn stars Ron (Ron Jeremy) and Veronica (Veronica Hart) and their newer, younger co-stars Angel (Carmen Hart, a working porn actress), Lance (Bart Fletcher), Wanda (Jenny Guy), and Rock (John Edward Lee).

At first, things are all fine and dandy. But then, during the night, an inexplicable beam of light possesses lead actor Ron. Soon, the porn legend’s famous penis — which is now inhabited by an unknown alien life form — has detached itself from his body and is going around killing the rest of the cast and crew by fucking them to death!

That, in a nutshell, is One-Eyed Monster, a silly-though-enjoyable indie flick from the brothers Adam, Jordan, and Scott Fields (who probably stayed up very late watching movies they shouldn’t have as children). Most of the “monster” shots are brief, so as not to bombard the viewer with a giant fake penis, and that in itself probably makes the movie more appealing than one would expect it to be. The jokes and special effects are intentionally bad (as they should be in a film of this nature), so the actors and actresses are under no strain to deliver believable performances. But, if I had to award any one particular actor with an award for this movie, it would go to veteran character actor Charles Napier as the kooky neighboring Vietnam vet who arrives just in time to steal the show.

Liberation Entertainment has unleashed their One-Eyed Monster on DVD in a pleasant-looking widescreen 1.78:1 transfer accompanied by your pick of English Dolby Digital 2.0 or 5.1 sound (no subtitles, sorry). Several special features are included and consist of an audio commentary with director Fields; a few deleted scenes and outtakes; “Porn Yesterday: A Conversation With Ron Jeremy And Veronica Hart,” wherein the XXX stars talk about the fabulous industry back when films were actually released in theaters, etc.; the phony featurette “Spotlight On: The Dick Wrangler;” and, lastly, an assortment of trailers and a gallery.

Even though the penis jokes got old rather quick for me, One-Eyed Monster still manages to be a lot better than I thought it would be. As a “mainstream” actor, Ron Jeremy hasn’t found his instrument yet (no pun intended), but if you liked porn’s one true living icon in Orgazmo, then this one is definitely for you.

About Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the alter-ego of a feller who loves an eclectic variety of classic (and sometimes not-so-classic) film and television. He currently lives in Northern California with four cats named Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Margaret. Seriously.

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