Celebrity Social Darwinism

Image is everything in Hollywood, and one’s mate is among one’s most important accessories. Stars would never be as coldly calculating as this NY Post column suggests, would they?

MICHAEL Douglas did it. So did Heidi Klum and J.Lo. We’re talking, of course, about romantic upgrades, a bona fide celebrity tradition.

Last year alone, Kate Winslet finalized her divorce from assistant director Jim Threapleton and shacked up with Oscar-winning helmer Sam Mendes.

Jennifer Connelly split with the unfortunately missing-in-action Josh “Sports Night” Charles to romance her “A Beautiful Mind” co-star Paul Bettany.

Gwyneth ditched a string of suitors – including two princes – to take up with rock royal Chris Martin of Coldplay. And who can blame Kirsten Dunst for dropping spider-boy Tobey Maguire to take up with his even hotter look-alike, rising star Jake Gyllenhaal?

And then there are the stars who might want to consider getting an upgrade. To wit…

And they make recommendations. I’m not sure if this is meant to be tongue in cheek or not – these are, after all, actual people.