Saturday , July 20 2024
Car baby photo confirms the worst.

Britney Spears Among Least Intelligent 2% of Americans

What many have feared has now been confirmed: at least 98% of all Americans are more intelligent than Britney Spears. As has been widely reported, new mom Britney, 24, was photographed driving her SUV with a look of bovine contentment on her face and 4 month-old son Sean in her lap. No safety device of any kind appears in the photo.



Per the chart below, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration informs us that 98% of Americans have enough sense and regard for the law to secure their infants in child safety seats. Under California law, children are required to be secured in a child-safety seat until they are at least 6 years old or weigh at least 60 pounds – perhaps Britney was confused by the numbers.

(Charts don’t lie)

Yesterday Spears admitted she “kind of like … made a mistake” on Access Hollywood, but still claimed that her lapse was due to panic unleashed by a welter of rabid paparazzi bent on photographically capturing her infant’s very soul, or something. “Being put in the situation that I was in, it was kind of bad with the paparazzi,” she explained. “Last week, my mom and me went out and they were on us really bad, so it’s just, you do instinctively what you need to do.”

X17, the agency that took the photographs, deny her claims. “These pictures were taken in a very peaceful context, in which photographers exhibited no aggressive behavior,” the company said in a written statement.

“At the point where she made the decision to drive with the baby in her lap, there was only one photographer and he wasn’t even shooting,” Kelly Davis, vice president of X17, told the BBC.

About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: Twitter@amhaunted,, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.

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