Friday , May 20 2022

Battle of the Bulges

The Specious Report strikes again with a debate between California gubernatorial candidates Arnold Schwarnenegger and Sunset Strip scenester Angelyne:

    It has been theorized that someone could win this election with as little as 12% of the vote. Will your campaign avoid any serious discussion of the issues as long as possible, relying mostly on name recognition and trite slogans?

    Angelyne: [long silence] “Look at my breasts.”

    Schwarzenegger: [unintelligible] “Hasta la vista baby.” [unintelligible] “I’ll be back.”

    California, the world’s fifth-largest economy, is facing catastrophic deficits, a lingering energy crisis, water shortages, environmental concerns, unemployment, a depressed high-tech industry, and now rising interest rates threaten any foreseeable recovery. These are complex problems requiring real solutions. Should your candidacy be regarded as anything more than frivolous self-promotion?

    Angelyne: [long silence] “My doggie is pink too.”

    Schwarzenegger: [unintelligible] “Remember when I said I would kill you last? I lied.”….

I suppose having an impressive chest is as important
in a governor as most other attributes. Why didn’t Elvira run?

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About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: [email protected],, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.

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