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U.S. Officials Throw the Book at Terrorism

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In a bold, unprecedented move, the U.S.-led coalition was able to boast a 52 percent drop in the murder rate in Baghdad from July to August with the cunning use of a thesaurus.

U.S. military spokesman in Iraq, Maj. Gen. William B. Caldwell, said a security crackdown that began August 7th more than halved the city's murder rate. To calculate the success of the crackdown, officials counted only those who died as the result of having been murdered or executed as a specific target of terrorism.

Those killed in the crossfire, specifically those whose deaths had been counted before the crackdown, didn't make the cut. Death by bomb, mortar, rocket, IED, VBIED, or suicide attack is now off the list of ways one can be murdered. These means of attack are indirect and not necessarily the result of direct sectarian-related violence.

What still counts? Drive-by shootings and death by torture and/or execution. What does this change around in terms mean for the U.S. coalition casualty rate? "These comments were intended to highlight some specific indicators of progress and were never stated in relation to broader casualty figures," U.S. military spokesman Lt. Col. Barry Johnson said Monday.

Right. If you were part of the U.S.-led coalition then you were singled out, brutally attacked, and murdered by terrorist thugs. If you weren't part of the U.S.-led coalition, you just died. The U.S. might even say you were killed as the result of a terrorist attack, but if your name wasn’t on that bullet, bomb or IED you weren’t murdered.  

U.S. military spokesman Lt. Col. Barry Johnson didn't say how anyone arrived at the 52 percent figure, saying details would give "our enemy information they need to adjust their tactics and procedures to be more effective against us." One wonders if that enemy includes anyone who questions how a murder rate can drop when the number of bodies piling up doesn’t.

Let's just keep that kind of poetic license away from the list of World Trade Center casualties, shall we?

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About Diana Hartman

Diana is a USMC (ret.) spouse, mother of three and a Wichita, Kansas native. She is back in the United States after 10 years in Germany. She is a contributing author to Holiday Writes. She hates liver & motivational speakers. She loves science & naps.
  • Ruvy in Jerusalem

    Diana,

    Why didn’t you throw in Samuel Clemens’ line about lies, damned lies and statistics? It is the perfect fit for your article. Did your husband describe this to you, and if he did, was he able to keep a straight face?

    There is a new saw that also applies to this article – he who prints the money calls the tune…

  • Nancy

    Typical Bush Administration Rummy-type spin. Thanks for keeping us posted on the lastest BushShit. Good article, but infuriating.

  • steve

    Thank you for providing this valueable article. How on earth did the liberal media allow this information to slip through the cracks? They need to step up their security. Imagine if the American public knew we were being productive in the middle east!!! That would be absolutely tragic. =)

  • http://parodieslost.typepad.com Mark Schannon

    Unreal. Nice catch, Diana. I swear the Bushites will stop at nothing to destroy America’s credibility in the world.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • http://victorplenty.blogspot.com Victor Plenty

    Steve, whoever read this article to you, I recommend you fire them and hire someone who graduated from the 8th grade.

  • zingzing

    three possibilities:

    1) steve was being sarcastic (not realizing that it backfires horribly),
    2) steve only read the parts he liked (the editing of reality being a favorite conservative pasttime),
    or
    3) steve is really dumb.

    which is it? i really don’t know (no sarcasm).

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Nice Job Diana, Just like Bush has been reclissifying documents to try to change history, it looks like he’s doing the same with this issue

    He doesn’t give a damn about anything but how big of a hero history will see him, and how big of a statue they’ll erect to him in Washington DC.

  • Nancy

    I thought they already did: that giant white marble phallus right across the mall from the White House. Or maybe that’s Dick Cheney’s monument?

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