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The Truth

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I think our court system needs to find a more advanced way of getting people to tell the truth. All we do is make them promise. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” This is the same way a 7 year old and his friends figure out if someone is telling the truth.

We put a guy up on the stand for supposedly killing 10 people and then eating them… “Ok Mr. serial killer… do you promise to tell us the truth?” “Yes.” “Did you kill these people and then eat them?” “No.” “Cross your heart and hope to die?” “Yes.” “Do you swear on your mother’s life?” “Yes.” “Would you be willing to pinky swear on this?!?!” “Yes!” “Sir, let me remind you that you are under oath.” How many people are they catching with this reminder? “Ohhh yeah, I forgot. Yes, I did kill them. I totally forgot I was under oath. I apologize. Thanks for reminding me.”

What year of law school do they start teaching the oath reminder?

I think I want to be a comedian.

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About in10sity

  • jess

    hmm.. i’m writing a essay about this…

    boring, but yet amusing…

    yes you do have a great deal of sarcasm, which is so greatly now scarce in the world…

    yet i am a member of the National Sarcasm Society.

    So go on be sarcasmian, hmm.. a new word..

    comidians are so overrated…

    just don’t become that richard whatever his last name is. ha

  • (Yawn.) How many times do we need to cover the same ground? The legal system is a form of dispute resolution. People who think it is about truth, justice and whether Jockeys are really 100 percent cotton are reading too much into it.

    No ‘oath reminder’ is taught in law school. (Truth be told, a person can go through the whole three years with only a couple classes in criminal law.)

  • boomcrashbaby

    Usually whenever a prosecutor or defense lawyer asks you a question, they can cross reference it with evidence, other witnesses or whatever to hopefully catch anybody who lies.

    What is really funny though, is the assumption that you are going to be more intimidated by the fear of God, into telling the truth if you put your hand on the bible. To an islaamic, buddhist, agnostic, atheist, etc. it’s like saying ‘we want to really put pressure on you into speaking the truth, perjury might not be enough, so place your hand on this Rand-McNally, and speak after me……’

  • OK, then, how do you propose to make people tell the truth? Stiff drugs, perhaps? I could go for that.

    Thank you. I’ll be here all week.