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Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn Split – Too Much Drama, Not Enough Funny

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Actor/comedian Vince Vaughn has apparently pulled the plug on his relationship with actress Jennifer Aniston. The split was "solidified" during a lengthy phone call from London, where Vaughn is doing work on a holiday comedy, Joe Claus.

Wow, I bet no one saw this coming! What with all the "there's nothing to see here" and "we aren't engaged" crap coming out of Aniston's mouth for the last year, it was a matter of time before Vince got the hint Jennifer just wasn't committed to the relationship, or perhaps that she's one loopy bitch.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting An "inside source" told Us Weekly that Vaughn confided to him/her, “It’s not common knowledge, but we’re not together anymore. We’ve split up.”

The Good Girl also canceled a pre-arranged visit to London, where she and Vaughn were to have attended a party together on September 23. Lucky Vince, maybe now he can have a good time a la Wedding Crashers without the old ball and chain to drag him down.

What does Team Aniston have to say about The Break-Up stars' reported breakup? “They’re 100 percent done,” said the source.

That sounds like something Team Anniston would say. The reasons behind the split are numerous and not unpredictable, including sources citing Vince being "scared off" by how "needy she is."

Oh, that's the death knell right there, ladies: neediness. You don't have to be a multi-millionaire famous actress to know that.

Plus, you'd think after getting totally dumped by your husband for Angelina "I Am a Rock I Am an Island" Jolie, with whom he immediately bred, it ought to have sent a clear "ixnay on the eedinessnay" message to Aniston. But alas, some habits die hard.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting It's also been averred that Vince's mom was not a fan of the Friends star. Apparently, when Vaughn called his mother to announce the engagement, Mom Vaughn "freaked out."

And by freaked out, I think they mean, she said something like, "Are you nuts? That chick is as psycho as that guy you played in, um, Psycho. Run, Vince, run as fast as you can. Oh, and get back that $500K, 9.5 carat yellow diamond ring you gave her, too, 'cuz that loon might use it to scratch your eyes out."

Paraphrasing, of course.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Jennifer described Vince's mom's interference as "a real letdown," and is "upset his mom got in the way."

No mention of wishing that old meddling prune would drop dead of a heart attack, dry up, and blow away.

In fact, it is reported that Aniston did return the ring he gave her when they supposedly didn't get engaged. It must have been one of those promise rings all the kids talk about: "I promise I will marry you next week if you will sleep with me today." Don't fall for it, Wimpy.

Not surprisingly, another big factor was the old "Jen's world" issue causing way too much scrutiny for the couple as the media blitz that plagued them wouldn't let up and just let them be, let them alone.

So, it seems, in this case, it's Jen's fault for the breakup. What guy's ego — even a seemingly laid back guy like Vaughn — is going to tolerate constant public denials of a relationship? Imagine if you will you weren't a famous guy, but just some Joe Blow and the girl you keep taking out on dates and taking home to mom constantly says, "We aren't dating — I don't even know who this pecker is, he just keeps showing up the same places I do." I mean, seriously.

Don't worry, Vince, you'll bounce back. As for Jennifer, I hear there are all kinds of shallow, superficial, children-hating men in some place called Hollywood. You should check it out.

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About Dawn Olsen

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    The pressing question here is, can anyone think of a Rembrandts song that perfectly describes Aniston’s life right now?

  • http://www.djradiohead.com DJRadiohead

    “That’s Just the Way it Is, Baby” comes to mind.

  • Dawn

    I thought that was a Squeeze song.

  • Dawn

    Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, that is not even close to Squeeze, who are WAY better than The Rembrandts.

    Sure sounds like Squeeze though.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    “You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
    with Vaughn, Vaughn, Vaughn, whoa-oh”

  • http://www.djradiohead.com DJRadiohead

    These two have always bored me as actors and as tabloid objects. This breakup should ensure no more bad movies with the two of them and a lot less talking about them.

    And Sussman, that is a bowl of wrong.

  • Dawn

    Well, sure Aniston is a butt-plug, but don’t go doggin’ my boy Vince. No one rocks the brooding funny man harder. Wedding Crashers…need I say more.

  • http://www.breakingwindows.com/ Ken Edwards

    Dawn, at least these two gave you the perfect DVD to use for this article. I mean, who would have guessed “The Break-Up?”

  • Eric Olsen

    Life imitates art. “Art who?” you may ask.

  • http://midnightcafe.blogspot.com Mat Brewster

    If Wedding Crashers is the choice to prove what a great actor Vaughn is, yes indeed you do need to say more.

    I’d rather watch a 9 hours Friends marathon than sit through that flick, which is to say I’d rather have rats gnaw through my nads slowsly. But not too slowly because this cowboy needs to feel something moving if you know what I mean.

    Did I just say that? What I meant was, “I liked him in Swingers”

  • http://eclecticlibrarian.net/ Anna Creech

    Ah. I wondered why your bias was so strongly for Vaughn.

  • Eric Olsen

    I think it was probably the timing that was most damaging – it seems Aniston is still pretty damaged after the very public, humiliating even, end of her marriage. I hope she can right the ship

  • http://blog.myspace.com/tinkie101 tink

    At least we ‘normal folk’ get to play out our dramas out without the eyes, ears and video cameras that people like Aniston and Vaughn have to deal with while licking their wounds.

    Straddling the fence as a fan of both Swingers and Wedding Crashers…

  • http://cleveland ceveland

    I am not sure why you are personally attacking Jennifer Aniston and ironically don’t allow -personal attacks on the site, whatever that means, but I can imagine after the infidelity and heartbreak of what she just went through with Pitt, she probably hasn’t really been ready for another commitment.
    I would think that she was smart to leave Vaughn if his mother’s opinion still has so much weight in his life and he is old enough to be called an “old bachelor” then my advice to her is to RUN AWAY IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

    Being married to a man who has been single as long as he and mommy’s approval is needed is a neon warning sign of a horrible marriage to a man who’s mother never cut the umbilical cord! Believe me, I know first hand and it is unnecessary stress on marriage which will only succeed with two (emotional) gown ups (age doesn’t count!)

    Why are you calling her a baby hater??? Jolie has adopted various children like most people collect puppies – as cute pets! Come on now, she isn’t really taking care of her children in the middle of the night, tired and cleaning and cooking like normal wives!!!!!! Picking up an orphan so you look good in the press and they are cute and when they are work you hand them over to the nanny does not a mother make!!!!!

    I don’t think Jolie has time for that with all those collegen and silicone treatments and time consuming eating disorders that seem quite apparent. That is NOT an attack as there was an article about her in a tabloid when she was pregnant about how upset she was about not fitting into her usual jeans during her pregnancy!!!!! That is ABNORMAL – not able to comprehend that another person is growing inside you and yes, while you can still have toothpick arms and sunken cheeks, your middle will grow regardless!!!!!!

    Maybe Jennifter Aniston didn’t want children with Brad Pitt because they were having problems in their marriage and she seems too intelligent and has some sense of proprity to just have a baby regardless of the home enviroment and maybe wanted to know if there would be a two parent home for that child!!!!!!
    Bottom line she doesnt’ seem needy to me, just smarter than the average Hollywood actors that live with too much money and not enough reality!
    Sincerely,
    C.J.E.

  • DONNA

    GIVE JEN A BREAK! SHE HAS HAD A TOUGH YEAR. SHE’S BEEN CHEATED ON, DIVORCED, AND HAD TO WATCH THE MAN SHE PROBABLY STILL LOVES HAVE A BABY WITH SOMEONE ELSE. OF COURSE SHE’S NEEDY AFTER ALL THAT. WHO WOULDN’T BE. I FEEL FOR HER. SHE DOESNT NEED TO BE JUDGED RIGHT NOW!

  • aninha

    Why people talk about Jennifer Aniston like she is a little, fragile, innocent girl !!!!!
    She is almost a 40 years woman, for God sakes! No wonder Brad left her, compare her to Reese Whiterspoon (much younger) and you see how immature and insecure she is.

    And ceveland , don’t judge Jolie motherhood skills just because your little girl got dumped.

    The humiliation would had been much less painful with Jennifer hasn’t milked that divorce for an entire year trying to get public support to launch her movie career , she made an spectacle and now its paying for that ( take notes with Nicole Kidman next time)

    And BTW, Brad still is the number 1 movie star in the world. (isn’t life sweet ?)

  • gymnut

    I think everyone should stop saying jen is the reason for all of this. She is not a needy person I feel she just has been hurt and heartbroken by brad. That’s going to take alot of time to get over. She just needs to stay single for a while and see what else is out there for her. Team Aniston Rocks!

  • Maria

    Hey Dawn! Loved the critique on Jen and Vince. More than that, I’d love to know where you got that tasty shot of Jen on the beach in a bikini yelling at the camera! I love that photo! It looks like it could be from a series of shots and I’d be interested in seeing the rest of them. She needs to do some more edgy stuff like this, she never ever shows any emotion and this photo is so great because she’s looks like she’s losin’ it. could you put in a hyperlink to the site that you got the photo from or publish details of same? Thanks!

  • mark

    The break up was only great because we finally got to see jennifer’s hot little ass strut donw the hallway – what a great ass she has!!!!! She needs to show more of that awesome body!

  • Anna

    WOW! Ms. Olsen sure seems to know Jennifer Aniston well. Are you a close friend? How long have ya been buds? Can’t imagine how you’d be privy to so much about her personal life and deepest feelings otherwise!! I am not much of a fan of any Hollywood types, but can sure imagine what I’d feel like if I went through what she did. I’m sure she never dreamed “Mr. down-to-earth-gosh-darn-good ol boy type” Brad would do what he did to her when she married him-who would? Any time I’ve seen any interview of her she was composed,intellegent and sweet. Where do you get your info and why would you attack her like that-whats wrong with you?

  • Selena

    My goodness! This HAS BEEN JA has been milking her DIVORCE for 2 years now. How long will it take her to recover from this divorce, cje and gymnut about 100 years! idiots! this JA will continue to want the whole world to feel sorry for her because she lost her man, but hey S*** HAPPENS, GET OVER IT! life goes on, and the way you choose to live it is how people will judge you. as far as i’m concerned JENNIFER IS HISTORY, BECAUSE SHE CAN’T ACT WORTH A DAMN, EVEN THE TV SERIES 24 DIDN’T WANT HER, ” Jennifer Aniston Rejected by 24 Producers
    Television – es, you read that correctly. Jennifer Aniston approached 24’s production team and offered to work at scale just for the opportunity to be on the show.” so please somebody, please make this horribly ugly person that is trying to be an actor GO AWAY. And I’m glad that BP hooked up with AJ, SHE’S THE ONE THAT HAS LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT LIFE, and everyone knows this. SHE’S NOT THE WEIRD PERSON IN HER 20’S ANYMORE, SHE DEFINITELY HAS GOTTEN EDUCATED, AND BIG TIME. WHY DON’T SOME OF YOU TRY GOING AROUND THE WORLD AND SEEING EVERYTHING THAT SHE HAS SEEN, AND THEN COME BACK AND LEARN HOW TO KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT, FOR ONCE. OR BETTER YET, GET WITH YOUR UGLY CHINNIFER AND CONTINUE TO KEEP TALKING S*** ABOUT BP AND AJ ALL THE TIME. YES, THIS IS WHY SHE IS LEADING HER SORRY A** LIFE, WITH ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS,ALONG WITH HER CONSTANT LIES, AND YES THIS IS WHY SO MANY PEOPLE DISLIKE HER AND ARE JUST PLAIN SICK OF LOOKING AT THAT UGLY FACE PLUS HEARING HER TRY TO TALK. FACE IT ALL OF YOU CHINNIFER FANS, YOUR JENNIFER HAS TOTALLY GONE BALLISTIC, SHE’S FREAKIN CRAZY NOW, AND NEEDS TO BE COMMITTED. SINCERELY! AND, WHATS WRONG WITH HER MOUTH? SHE CAN’T EVEN TALK, UGLY BROAD THAT SHE IS. TEAM BRANGELINA FOREVER!

  • dark faith

    the faniston craisies dont realise dawn is a fan of non of this actors when you wrote that article about angelina they were happy of you attacking her, you write non flattering thing of aniston then you are wrong, fair is fair if angelina gets attacked why cant aniston be attack by the sama people.

    aniston sucks.

  • http://www.anistoncenter.com aFan

    Vince denied the rumors as much as Jen did.

    Selena and Dark Faith I’m sure Angelina is just as proud as she can be to have you on her side.

  • redhead

    Hey, way to be a witch Dawn. Hope someday someone drops a Jolie…er, I mean a house…on you…

    I’ll be waiting. And smiling.

  • Sam

    I second the question above. How exactly do you know she is a superficial, needy bitch? In the 16 years she has been in the media spotlight, I’ve read nothing but compliments and flattering comments about her from interviewers, fellow actors, close friends, etc. Personally, you come off as one of those “Mean Girls” who is lashing out due to her own insecurities and neediness.