Saturday , May 25 2024
"They’re 100 percent done."

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn Split – Too Much Drama, Not Enough Funny

Actor/comedian Vince Vaughn has apparently pulled the plug on his relationship with actress Jennifer Aniston. The split was "solidified" during a lengthy phone call from London, where Vaughn is doing work on a holiday comedy, Joe Claus.

Wow, I bet no one saw this coming! What with all the "there's nothing to see here" and "we aren't engaged" crap coming out of Aniston's mouth for the last year, it was a matter of time before Vince got the hint Jennifer just wasn't committed to the relationship, or perhaps that she's one loopy bitch.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting An "inside source" told Us Weekly that Vaughn confided to him/her, “It’s not common knowledge, but we’re not together anymore. We’ve split up.”

The Good Girl also canceled a pre-arranged visit to London, where she and Vaughn were to have attended a party together on September 23. Lucky Vince, maybe now he can have a good time a la Wedding Crashers without the old ball and chain to drag him down.

What does Team Aniston have to say about The Break-Up stars' reported breakup? “They’re 100 percent done,” said the source.

That sounds like something Team Anniston would say. The reasons behind the split are numerous and not unpredictable, including sources citing Vince being "scared off" by how "needy she is."

Oh, that's the death knell right there, ladies: neediness. You don't have to be a multi-millionaire famous actress to know that.

Plus, you'd think after getting totally dumped by your husband for Angelina "I Am a Rock I Am an Island" Jolie, with whom he immediately bred, it ought to have sent a clear "ixnay on the eedinessnay" message to Aniston. But alas, some habits die hard.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting It's also been averred that Vince's mom was not a fan of the Friends star. Apparently, when Vaughn called his mother to announce the engagement, Mom Vaughn "freaked out."

And by freaked out, I think they mean, she said something like, "Are you nuts? That chick is as psycho as that guy you played in, um, Psycho. Run, Vince, run as fast as you can. Oh, and get back that $500K, 9.5 carat yellow diamond ring you gave her, too, 'cuz that loon might use it to scratch your eyes out."

Paraphrasing, of course.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Jennifer described Vince's mom's interference as "a real letdown," and is "upset his mom got in the way."

No mention of wishing that old meddling prune would drop dead of a heart attack, dry up, and blow away.

In fact, it is reported that Aniston did return the ring he gave her when they supposedly didn't get engaged. It must have been one of those promise rings all the kids talk about: "I promise I will marry you next week if you will sleep with me today." Don't fall for it, Wimpy.

Not surprisingly, another big factor was the old "Jen's world" issue causing way too much scrutiny for the couple as the media blitz that plagued them wouldn't let up and just let them be, let them alone.

So, it seems, in this case, it's Jen's fault for the breakup. What guy's ego — even a seemingly laid back guy like Vaughn — is going to tolerate constant public denials of a relationship? Imagine if you will you weren't a famous guy, but just some Joe Blow and the girl you keep taking out on dates and taking home to mom constantly says, "We aren't dating — I don't even know who this pecker is, he just keeps showing up the same places I do." I mean, seriously.

Don't worry, Vince, you'll bounce back. As for Jennifer, I hear there are all kinds of shallow, superficial, children-hating men in some place called Hollywood. You should check it out.

About Dawn Olsen

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