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Britney Spears Does It Again: Gives Birth To Number Two

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Former poptart and tabloid darling Britney Spears, 25, has given birth to her second child, a boy, in just under one year. She and her husband, aspiring rapper and former backup dancer Kevin Federline, 28, had their first child together, Sean Preston Federline, on September 14, 2005.

The couple will celebrate their 2nd wedding anniversary on September 18, making September the most celebrated month for anyone wishing to breed at the same rate asPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting the Amish.

According to TMZ, Spears checked into Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center yesterday evening under the assumed name of "Pebbles," where she gave birth via C-section to a yet-unnamed baby boy weighing 6lbs, 9oz, and 19 inches long, some time around 2:00 am.

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingWhile no official reports have been issued from the Spears camp, it is rumored that Britney blurted out more than once, "Having babies is like hard work and stuff!" And she didn't even have to push.

The gender of the Spears-Federline offspring had been reported by tabloids as being a girl based on her shopping habits and baby registry, which eitherPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting proves that Britney is as confused as she seems, or the little vixen was engaging in a little wink-wink with the paparazzi that hounds her so incessantly.

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingEither way, the most important fact regarding this blessed event is that Brit and K-Fed are as fertile as a pair of citified hillbillies could hope to be. Thanks be to Jesus and rub that tummy again down by the cee-ment pond.

While we all certainly wish the Federlines well in their progenous bliss, the collective world will be on pins and needles to see if the parents have learned any valuable lessons about highchair safety, carseat usage, and walking upright before continuing on their two-Photobucket - Video and Image Hostingperson quest to repopulate the earth every nine months.

Britney has had her share of first-year parenting foibles and has lashed out at the media for "taking cheap shots" at her and her marriage. Spears even went so far as to sit down for a Dateline interview with Photobucket - Video and Image HostingMatt Lauer. For the most part, her "I don't care what people think" attitude about her life choices came off as unbelievable: why do an interview on primetime if you really don't care? But on a personal level, I believe she doesn't care what people think regarding her fashion choices, which sadly have taken a turn for the trailer-park-chic worst.

Let's hope that all this negative attention and tabloid scrutiny have an inspiring affect on Britney. For the most part, we would all like to see her get back to her sassy, pop song-singing self. Especially if it means no more Federline-seed spreading. Enough already, dude… we get it — your sperm's like magical and stuff, y'all.

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About Dawn Olsen

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    Wait, hold on. I think I found some whitespace where you can place another Britney picture … no, wait, that’s an ad.

  • Dawn

    Every picture tells a story. Don’t it?

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    Indeed. That last one at the bottom is a rather horrid ghost story.

  • Mike

    This is amazing maybe the kid will have a 160 iq like jessica simpson remember her moms comments on this? We’ll the Beverly Hill trailer park can up the population by one tonight … wonder how they’ll get that other baby seat in the el camino. Totally agree with matthew this webpage looks like total $hit so don’t mind if we critique your blog

  • http://bonamassablog.us Joan Hunt

    I had two kids myself. What does that get me? And seriously, my second was a VBAC — the kid was 9lbs 5oz, which I consider far more impressive than Britney’s need a C-section the second time around.

    I wonder what pretentious name she’ll come up with for Sean Preston’s brother.

  • http://clatch.blogspot.com A.L. Harper

    She’ll be pregers again in ten days! Who wants to bet money on it?

  • Dawn

    I don’t think she and K-Fed even need to do the deed – some couplings are so fertile with love that babies just conceive themselves.

    This blog is awesome, I just couldn’t decide which picture of Britney was more telling. So bite it, you two.

    The problem with Britney isn’t that she has/had two kids, the problem is that this is K-Fed’s 4th in less than five years, and that Britney had two kids in less than one year. Not only is that extremely unhealthy for the mother and child, it’s really, really, really fucking gross.

    Mom shouldn’t even be doing the deed for AT LEAST six weeks, and as a mom who had two children the “natural way” the idea of wanting to get back in the sack so soon is distant and remote to most new moms who are not only recovering, but also looking after their newborn.

    While I am sure there are exceptions, to have two babies within the span of 1 year is so…well, it’s so hillbilly.

  • Nancy

    “Fertile with love” – ? I think I’m going to puke.

  • http://www.lorimortimer.com/blog lori

    While I am sure there are exceptions, to have two babies within the span of 1 year is so…well, it’s so hillbilly.

    It’s also Irish (a.k.a. “Irish twins” — kids born of the same parents, within 9-12 months of each other).

  • http://www.djradiohead.com DJRadiohead

    I hope the doctors, while performing the C, also tied some knots when no one was looking. I think Pope Benedict would reverse course for the Catholic Church if he saw what these two dunderheads were doing.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    Aw, they changed the pictures around. No longer do I have a desire to play Tetris on the article.

  • Eric Olsen

    the pictures, the site, the writer, Britney all just fucking rule

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    Not sure about that last one, boss.

  • Mark Saleski

    gawd, that last picture makes britney look like lisa marie presley after a 3-day drunk.

    yow.

  • elizabeth lynn

    Britney kinda needs to keep her legd closed for a bit, yaknow.

    Love her dearly and all, but taking her clothes off and popping kids for fame is not my style.

  • http://elsaelsa.com Elsa

    This poor girl. I feel sorry for her. And I don’t understand the lack of compassion. Most everyone goes down at some point in their life. They have some period where they struggle and flail. Why kick someone when they’re down? That’s what I wonder? Personally, I’d be scared to death of the karma!

  • Nancy

    She’s not poor. She’s very, very rich. Not very deservedly, either, IMO, being vastly overrated and undertalented, except in the field of spawning offspring, obviously.

  • Dawn

    Britney isn’t struggling, she’s breeding, making horrific parenting choices, including those of the dangerous kind and then bitching and whining about it like some kind of idiot.

    She either is unable to make good choices or is a total fucking zero in the brains department – either way – the less breeding the better.

    Less pics is suck!

  • Nancy

    Why are we even wasting our time discussing this slutty, untalented little git, anyway? There are better things to discuss on this website.

  • Dawn

    I totally agree Nancy, but slutty gits sell.

  • http://www.earsucker.com Roberta

    I couldn’t help but to laugh at this article and the comments. Great article :)

  • Eric Olsen

    slutty gits rule! But they should breed less, it seems

  • Mike

    Again, Love it all the great comments, Nothing on a name yet may I suggest “joe dirt spears” … Wouldn’t doubt if we hear they cooked up the placenta with some collard greens, okra and other fixinz’ When I saw the statue in brooklyn, I was like I’m surprised it didn’t have a cigarette on it?

  • http://www.ladydragonfyre.com/index_files/LWS Lady Dragonfyre

    Hey Dawn. Without glancing at your name at the top of the article, I only had to read the first three words to figure out you wrote this! lol.

    Have you see the photo of Spears in which she was walking around VERY pregnant with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth?

    I’m sure if she was a regular person, she’d have lost custody of her first child by now.

    I wonder how she’ll fare in a year or so, when she gets divorced like most celebrities constantly do. Imagine the “hard work and stuff” she’ll face when she has to raise her kids on her own.

    I’m just a year older than Brittney, and I can’t imagine what it’d be like raising two kids at this point in my life . . . even if I WAS filthy rich.

  • Misha

    Britney really needs to change. She needs to sort herself out before having any more children. She has turned into a complete un minded un loving person. I really liked Britney but now whenever I think of her i think of the baldness and the horrible way that she treats the the lovely babies. Anyone would die to have a baby like Britneys and Britnay is treating them like dirt.

  • Katrina

    Britney you really need to grow up!