Yet More News You Can Abuse

If Only Children in Danger and Sex Offenders Were so Monitored

Milwaukee, Wisconsin homeowner, 62-year-old Peter Tubic, was assessed new fees month after month by the city Department of Neighborhood Services who regularly sent an inspector out to see if Tubic had removed his inoperable, untagged vehicle from his driveway.

Suffering with numerous physical and mental health problems and on disability, Tubic is his mother’s caregiver. He also cared for his father until he died. At their mother’s request, Tubic’s brother, Jovon, urged Tubic to get rid of the vehicle.

Code enforcement manager, Ronald Roberts, is concerned about Tubic’s neighbors, even though no neighbors have complained. (I was a Wichita, Kansas resident during the many years code enforcement officer, Dennis Rader, was hard at work, both on and off the job, so I’m not a huge fan.)

Tubic’s 2004 fine started out at $50, but because of interest and penalties, he now owes $2,645. He hasn’t paid or contested the fine, so the city is foreclosing on his $245,000 home.

Does anyone else smell a rat? Me thinks Jovon and Ronald have been watching too many late-night infomercials about getting into real estate with minimal investment.

I’m Not as Think as You Drunk I am

Stanley Kobierowski , a 34-year-old Rhode Islander, may have set the state’s record for being the most drunk without dying. He was arrested after crashing into a road sign. His blood alcohol level was .491, six times the legal limit of .08. He has pleaded not guilty.

A local neurologist might have been (but wasn’t) overheard at Kobierowski’s hearing, saying Kobierowski’s I.Q. was about the same as his blood alcohol level, thus he was so stupid he didn’t even know how to die.

I’m Not as Dead as You Think I am

Thirty-two years ago, Woodward, Oklahoma resident and funeral director, Darrell Johnson, rented a cabin from the Sleepy Hollow resort in Colorado. He and his family arrived at the cabin on July 30th, 1976. The following day, a violent flood swept the resort away, and Johnson was thought to have been one of the 144 victims of the Big Thompson Canyon Flood.

The Johnson family wasn’t there when the flood hit because Darrell found the accommodation lacking. He took his family and left the cabin on the morning of the 31st, after only one night.

Johnson recalls, “At the time I wondered why I was so unlucky to get such a bad cabin. Now I realize how lucky I was to get that cabin. That’s what got us out of there,” he said.

No word yet on why the rest of his family wasn’t also thought to have died.