Monday , October 26 2020

The Microwave Refuses to Speak to the Washer

Back in October we mentioned the LG Internet Refrigerator, which struck me as having a little too much going on for a kitchen appliance: as if I want to sit in front of the refrigerator, in the high-traffic kitchen, to watch TV or post to Blogcritics. This strikes me as foolish on the levels of ostentation, practicality, maintenance (who exactly do you call to repair this sucker?), and ergonomics. It also reminded me of the Tom Waits song “Step Right Up”:

    That’s right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
    Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
    And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
    It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
    It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
    And it finds that slipper that’s been at large
    under the chaise lounge for several weeks
    And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
    It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
    And it’s only a dollar, step right up, it’s only a dollar, step right up…

Well now your Internet Refrigerator can be the hub of your Living Network System!!

    LG Electronics, a leading global consumer products manufacturer, presents its Living Network System. Centered around the Internet refrigerator, the Living Network System is a wired, home network-based system that links appliances such as the Internet Microwave and Internet Washer to one another via the Internet Refrigerator, thus allowing for communication among the appliances.

Just what I need, my appliances conspiring against me, bringing new meaning to the term “Kitchen Cabinet.” I see petty jealousies erupting: who is the favorite appliance? I foresee a Pixar movie, Appliance Story.

    “Our products bring to reality LG’s vision of a new class of innovative appliances that have the ability to communicate with each other through LG’s Living Network System. The Living Network System utilizes the Internet refrigerator as the ‘residential gateway’ to the home – allowing appliances to interact via a digital home network,” said Simon Kang, President, LG Electronics, U.S.A., Inc. “As we refine this technology, we envision everything in the house being tied together through the refrigerator since it’s the only appliance on 24 hours a day.”

    The Internet appliances are an important part of LG’s recent entry into the U.S. home appliance market. The company is introducing a full line of premium-quality products under the LG brand name, which is already the number one brand in more than 20 countries around the world.

    “LG Electronics has pioneered and continues to lead the industry in developing cutting-edge digital home appliances,” said Kang. “Our vision is to create appliances that go beyond a simple mechanical function, like heating food or keeping it cold. Instead, these next-generation appliances will perform greater tasks, such as collecting recipes, preparing meals and keeping pantries stocked – tasks that require intelligence. They will be interconnected via the Internet refrigerator and work together to become our assistant homemakers.”

For the money you would spend on these appliances, you could hire a cook and a maid, both of whom can perform more “simple mechanical” and intelligence-requiring tasks than a showroom full of appliances.

About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: [email protected], Facebook.com/amhaunted, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.

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