Saturday , March 2 2024
We get an inadvertent peek into Spike Lee’s childhood, and a common gynecological test gets new meaning.

News You Can Abuse: Eastwood Gets Spiked, Starr Shines on Paparazzi

Facial Expressions

Spike Lee went after Clint Eastwood, saying Eastwood did not accurately depict history when he failed to cast even one black actor in his films, Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima. Both films came out in 2006.

I wish I could take two years to compose my thoughts before speaking up about an issue close to my heart and still be taken seriously. Let us consider how many times Eastwood would have been suspected of Alzheimer’s had he waited until 2010 to say Lee “should shut his face.”

Lee has a good point with the issue of historical accuracy. Well, had. Even after Eastwood’s potshot, Lee was still the bigger man. For all of ten seconds (or so), Eastwood was the one with the chip on his shoulder. Then, in a turn of events worthy of O. Henry, Lee sent the focus on his initial comment askew by opening his face.

“First of all, the man is not my father…”

Is there something you’d like to tell us about your dad, Spike?

“…and we're not on a plantation either." Good one – unless you have no point of reference for the comment, which, damnit all, you don’t. The movie in question is not Song of the South.

“The thing about it though, I didn't personally attack him,” Lee said in an interview where he questioned whether or not Eastwood had studied history. This leaves one wondering if Lee studied vocabulary, specifically the meaning of the words “personally,” “attack,” and “him.”

Lee continued, “And a comment like 'a guy like that should shut his face' — come on, Clint, come on. He sounds like an angry old man right there.’"

Hey, them’s fightin’ words! Or, that will go down in history as the lamest comeback of all time. Come on yourself, Spike. We’re not on a playground, either.

Starr Light, Starr Bright

Kenneth Starr was the guy who intimately reported intimate details of former President Bill Clinton’s intimacies with Monica Lewinsky. Now he’s the guy helping draft laws in California that would keep paparazzi from getting too intimately close to celebrities.

Los Angeles city Councilman Dennis Zine welcomes Starr’s assistance, as he is all for laws that would help curb what he calls "Pap Packs." Zine says, "Just imagine you're a motorist driving down the street and Britney Spears parks next to you; all of a sudden you're swarmed by these people. They've got cameras; they're jumping on the hood of my car.”

This begs the question: If you run over a member of a Pap Pack with your car, does it leave a Pap Smear?

About Diana Hartman

Diana is a USMC (ret.) spouse, mother of three and a Wichita, Kansas native. She is back in the United States after 10 years in Germany. She is a contributing author to Holiday Writes. She hates liver & motivational speakers. She loves science & naps.

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