Friday , April 26 2024

Halloween 2023: Behemoth Balloon Decorations Rule the Halloween Scene

This Halloween month – and yes, October is now “Halloween month” – I have seen some enormous, sometimes inflated decorations that are scary but far from delightful. These behemoth balloon decorations rule the Halloween scene and are pumped to the maximum PSI that they can take before exploding.  

These infuriating inflatables are running all day long!

Over the last few years these inflatable objects have taken over, much to my chagrin. The motors that are required to keep these things inflated are noisy, so if your neighbors are employing them, you have to hope that they get shut off before bedtime. Unfortunately, some people keep those motors running all day long in order to keep these ghastly creatures afloat. 

When deflated, these decorations are unattractive on lawns.

Many people do shut these monstrosities off during the day, making lawns look like repositories of slain creatures. This also presents a problem for landscapers, whom I have seen trying to navigate lawns with their mowers and blowers. Overall, it is not an attractive sight to see these deflated decorations all over lawns in a neighborhood.

Keeping it simple on my lawn.

About 20 years ago Halloween started going from a one-and-done day of celebration to this month-long extravaganza. In the past you would see jack-o-lanterns, a few ghosts, and maybe a witch or two. Those were simpler days when maybe a few houses had strings of orange or purple lights and illuminated window decorations. Lawns were still largely unscathed by decorations, or if they had them there were a few simple items and nothing more.

A Grassy Spookopalypse

As the years went by more people started to cover their lawns with decorations. They seemed to want to cover every inch of their property with ghastly ghouls and (sometimes literally) shrieking ghosts. Sometimes the grass becomes a graveyard, complete with headstones for assorted monsters, from Dracula to the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

All of this is probably stemming for a love of horror stories – which I do appreciate – or a desire to please their children with the most decorations in the neighborhood. It’s like everyone thinks they’re Clark Griswold from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation decorating for Halloween.

The size of the decorations keeps getting bigger.

I know I’m not going to stop anyone from using these infuriating inflatables, but I for one will stick with my traditional decorations. Here and there as I walk around town, I see a few like-minded souls who share my feelings for simpler, quieter decorations. I’m appreciative of their decorum this season.   

Well, soon it will be all over – yet these gasbag-loving lawn decorators will move gleefully into November, and inflatable turkeys and pilgrims will be all over lawns with those irritating motors humming all night long. 

And as soon as Thanksgiving is over, there will be Christmas inflatables to deal with. I feel like Scrooge here, but when will this insanity end? Happy Halloween and Bah, humbug!

About Victor Lana

Victor Lana's stories, articles, and poems have been published in literary magazines and online. His new novel, 'Unicorn: A Love Story,' is available as an e-book and in print.

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