In the everyday average world, there are three little words that people rarely enjoy hearing: “You’ve been served.” It’s one of those sayings that is usually uttered by either a process server or a law enforcement officer, and generally associated with paternity tests, lawsuits, child support and, if you’re really lucky, divorce. In the world of cinema, however, there is an equally-dreaded phrase — one that is not bound to being dealt out by only two kinds of professionals: “You Got Served.”
In the case of this triple-worded contract of misery, one is inspired to sue, jumps at the opportunity to have a paternity test to prove their parents were, in fact, the heartless bastards that delivered them unto this cruel world. They then want to sue their folks and demand child support from them, shortly before divorcing them from their lives altogether.
Yes, such is the curse of the You Got Served films: a franchise so mind-boggling unhealthy, that it inspires one to give up on life — which is odd, really, since the basic goal behind these movies is to encourage people to enjoy it. With You Got Served: Beat The World, the sadists behind the You Got Served universe have decided to dispense with what few traces of plots plagued their previous work, creating an utterly-weak and oh-so-boring dance flick aimed solely at susceptible YouTube regulars.
And, this time, they’ve even gone as far to hire the writer of Stomp The Yard (another three-word slogan that rouses an irrational fear of dancing from people) to form a vague storyline about dancing and assign a few sentences to pretty, young performers that are talented in every form of theater except acting itself.
With the International Beat the World competition approaching fast in Detroit, three different groups of gay people start brushing off their moves in hopes of winning. What’s the prize, you ask? Well, I think it’s a luncheon for two at the International Beat the World House of Pancakes, but I could be mistaken since the damn movie caused so much pain, I mentally transgressed to a place where copious amounts of food were being served (it was the only thing that was capable of making me happy at that point).
It didn’t matter to me that was a vibrant and energetic dance flick; the fact that it was so inefficiently-amusing didn’t make me enjoy it. That said, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and all of the other intrepidly-inept dance movies that came before — and also paved the way for — this mass of malarkey, any parties that are actually interested in seeing You Got Served: Beat The World can be guaranteed of a sappy, happy ending.
Sony Pictures Home Entertainment unleashes You Got Served: Beat The World on Blu-ray in a transfer that is so beautiful, you’ll only loathe it that much more. It’s the High-Definition audio/video equivalent of some rich asshole winning the lottery and rubbing it in your face. The movie is framed in a 2.35:1 ratio and boasts some of the best colors, contrast and details to be found.
The same goes for the DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 lossless soundtrack, which delivers such a superb aural and stereophonic experience that it’s an all-out pity such a achievement was wasted on this title and not on something else. Optional subtitles are available in English (SDH), and Spanish. Special features are limited to two lackluster featurettes from cast and crew, and there are a couple of trailers and promos for other Sony titles.
In short: there’s not much that You Got Served: Beat The World can offer that someone else hasn’t already failed at.