Today, I was reminded of the intransigence of life. Today, I lost faith in the positives of life, pondered over the loss, was angered by the unfairness of it all. I called into question the weird sense of humour that the Gods seem to exhibit, but ended the day in a bemused state, having gathered that life goes on regardless of anything that is thrown at it.
Today I asked myself what the purpose of life is, even going to the core of the question, “What is life?” I asked if this whole mess we are hurtling through is really worth it, and came up short. I wanted to know if everything is real, and what "real" means!
Today, I asked if God exists, and if he was a benevolent being that cares for the well-being of all, or is there some higher being that toys with the rest of us for its amusement, or is the universe a large mess of randomness and chaos?
Today I wanted to know if there is a way to move on in life after a tragedy, what a tragedy is, and if it means anything in the grand scheme of things. Is it deeper than just a plain interaction of chemicals in our brain? Is there meaning to it? Is there a point to remembrance or are we better off ignoring it altogether?
Today I wondered if memories exist or are they figments of our imagination? Does time reflect anything or is it just a human condition? Does the passage of time and growth of memories mean anything? Are we holding on to slender threads for our comfort or because they mean something?
Today I saw that life must move on. While it may be someone's dream, it is probably the only thing that is real for us, and it is worth holding on to. Only in the loss of life and its absence do we realize its value, it existence even. We must face our own mortality to realise our immortality – albeit not in the physical realm, but in someone's memories and thoughts.
Today I saw the black, white, and grey reflections of the colourful world, reflections within my own eyes in the mirror. Today I was woken up with some sad news – of the passing away of a child in an accident. While the news of anyone passing is sad, that it was a child is what triggered most of the emotions and thoughts expressed.
Today, even my smile is shadowed by melancholy thoughts.