The Final Solution

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The RIAA gets serious:

    Citing lackluster results in its aggressive Subpoena-the-Family campaign, The Recording Industry Assocation of America, or RIAA, announced today it was escalating the war against music file sharing even higher by opening its massive detention facility in the high desert of Movaje, CA. The facility, designed to indefinitely detain up to three million people suspected of illegally or even legally sharing music files on the Internet, consumes 4,000 acres of the desert region some 70 miles north of Los Angeles.

    “Our goal is to eliminate the threat these thieves represent to our industry,” said RIAA President Cary Sherman. “We don’t care if the person is eight, eighteen, or eighty or unaware of the law. If we catch ’em sharing files, we’re sending them to jail. Not just any jail. Our jail.

    ….Asked how the RIAA was able to afford to provide food, clothing, and medical care for up to three million detainees, he told reporters: “We can’t. But hey, they knew the risks. We assume these criminals bring their own food, clothing, and medicine with them. They’re on their own.” [Denounce Newswire]

Uday and Qusay Hussein were not available for comment.

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About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: Twitter@amhaunted, Facebook.com/amhaunted, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.
  • The Theory

    …they’re joking, right?

    I didn’t know associations could just open their own jail on a whim… Man, maybe the NBA should have it’s own jail for basketball players who get into legal trouble ala Kobe or that 76ers dude…

    peace.

  • The Theory

    oookay. i viewed the site. so it is a joke. you really should warn us, Eric when you report on these satires… i was starting to get worried for a moment…

    peace.

  • Eric Olsen

    This is indeed a parody, or is it…..?

  • With the RIAA you can’t know for sure;-) (just playing along…)