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Satire: The News in Pictures VI – The Military Edition

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No active combat photos were used in the making of this essay.

Welcome to “O Caption! My Caption!”, Blogcritics’ examination of news, sports, and politics utilizing the most efficient and time-saving method: looking at pretty pictures and deducing what happened based on the pixels.

↓ “Sorry dude, it’s triple to tow after 1800 and your credit card declined that amount.”

↓ Home Depot to the rescue!

↓ “It’s okay. As long as I look cool, no one will know I have no idea what I’m doing.”

↓ “Holy crap! It did not look that big in the simulator.”

↓ “Don’t fall asleep. Don’t fall asleep. Don’t fall asleep.”

↓ You put your left leg up, you put your right leg down…

↓ “Man, I can never get Desperate Housewives on this thing.”

↓ “Screw you guys. My mom thinks I’m cool.”

Above: Photos by James Warden. Used with permission from Stars and Stripes. © 2009 Stars and Stripes.

↓ Oh my god, that is the biggest bug I’ve ever seen…and now it’s on my leg! Stay calm, don’t scream like a girl!


REUTERS/Sgt.Rebekah Malone/U.S.Army/Handout

↓ “You look funny.”
“Heh. This from a guy wearing lavender Pashmina — in the spring, no less!”


Cpl. Pete Thibodeau

↓ “Who is that guy?”
“I don’t know. I can’t see a damn thing in this sun.”


Gerry Broome/Associated Press

↓ “Why is it raining white paint? Did you guys hit another Home Depot?”


Sgt. Rodolfo Toro

↓ “Seriously fellas, I’m not Rob Riggle! That guy is old!”


Sgt. Elsa Portillo

↓ “Look at me, I’m bored! Get it — board?”
“That was your last bad joke today. All right guys, catapult him!”


Joel C. Guenther

Photo Credits: All photo credits listed and/or linked to source.

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About Diana Hartman

Diana is a USMC (ret.) spouse, mother of three and a Wichita, Kansas native. She is back in the United States after 10 years in Germany. She is a contributing author to Holiday Writes. She hates liver & motivational speakers. She loves science & naps.
  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    If Rob Riggle was a high ranking military officer, yeah, I can see us getting invaded.