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Research to be published in the November issue of the Journal of Clinical Investigation will reveal some surprising things about chronic marijuana usage. Instead of having a debilitating effect on the brain’s memory, it may actually work to stimulate the growth of neurons that would increase the brain’s capabilities for learning and memory.
According to findings released to the media by Dr. Xia Zhang, an associate professor with the Neuropsychiatry Research Unit at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon not only did high doses of cannabinoids promote the generation of neuron growth in the hippocampuses of rats, but it also seems to alleviate depression and anxiety. The hippocampuses is the part of the brain associated with learning and memory, and scientists have long suspected a correlation between depression and a slow down in neuron regeneration in that area.
The same results were achieved whether a natural form or a chemical form of cannabinoids was used in the tests. The one thing the scientists did warn people about was the drug they were using, HU-210, was actually 100 times more powerful than the THC(delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol) found in your regular street pot. Since the rats were injected twice a day for ten days with this chemical. It appears it would take an enormous amount of street pot to achieve the same results.
Dr. Zhang was also quick to point out that there are countless differences between rats and humans and there was no way of predicting whether the results would be the same. However it does make me wonder how this news will be treated by some of the more dedicated smokers of cannabis; how this will this news be received on the street?
In honour of, and with apologies to, Mr. Harold Pinter, I present the following dramatic re enactment of a scene that may never take place.
(The lights come up on a street corner. Two individuals, gender is irrelevant, are sitting on a bench. Throughout the scene they never make eye contact, mostly they are stare off into space.)
“Hey dude.”
“Hey.”
“How’s it going?”
“You know…”
“Yeah, I know.” (Pause)
“Did you hear?”
“What?”
“Smoking weed, you’ll get smarter, like.”
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“Cool.”
“Very cool dude. So what do ya reckon? If we keep smokin’ the way we’ve been going, we’re going to be the smartest dudes anywhere.”
“For sure. Like, we what, smoke about (pause) Well we smoke a lot right?”
“Fuck yeah. I bet we smoke more than anyone else around here.”
“Probably more than anyone in town.”
“If not the province.”
“Maybe the country?”
“Fuck probably the world.” (giggles)
“Fucking right we do. If we stopped smokin’ a lot of Colombians would go hungry.”
“Right.”
“Yeah.” (Pause)
“So…”
“So what?
“Well are you gonna light that thing or what?”
“Yeah sure, only I was just trying to remember something else they said ’bout pot.”
“Oh yeah, what?”
“Just gimme a second. (Pause) “Oh yeah, I got it now…Something about it making your brain cells grow back and giving you a better memory.”
“Better memory? That’s cool. You know maybe we really should be smoking more than.”
“Why dude?”
“Well, it’s just, like it’s not really a big deal or nothing, but, you know, sometimes I kinda forget shit.”
“Really dude. Shit, maybe you’re getting that Alts Hammer thing that old fucks get?”
“I’m not old.”
“Yeah well I saw something somewhere about it saying how that even some young guys are getting it too. You know they stop remembering where they are and shit like that.”
“Spooky.”
“That’s not happening to you is it man?”
“What?”
“Remembering where you are and shit like that?”
“No, no, it’s just like I forget shit, you know?”
“Yeah.” (Pause)
“So are you going to light that thing or what?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, I was just thinking.”
“Thinking? Bout what?”
“Oh you know shit and stuff.”
“Well what kind of shit?”
“Well don’t you think it’s kinda weird that the government makes pot illegal and it makes people smart and all?”
“I, uh I don’t know man, what ya mean?”
“They know pot makes you supper smart right, but they don’t want anybody being that smart, cause then everybody would see what kinda shit there up to. So they make it illegal to keep us all dumb.”
“Oh wow that’s just like that T. V. show, the Z files or whatever the fuck it was called. It’s a cons, conspear…”
“Conspiracy?”
“Yeah that’s what it is, ain’t it?”
“Yeah you got that right dude. And it’s only guys like us who smoke a lot who know what’ really going on. Why else would the government keep throwing people in jail for smoking pot? It’s not like we’re dangerous or nothing.”
“I don’t know about that. If it’s one of those con whatsit things like you said, maybe we are dangerous, to them right. They have to keep throwing stoners in jail cause people could start to notice how smart we are. You know and than they might start smoking pot too, cause they see how smart it makes us, and then they’ll get smart too, and people will see them and they’ll start smoking pot…soon everybody will be as smart as us and then what would the government do? They’d be fucked cause everybody would be super smart.”
“Wow! I’d have never thought of that. But your right man, fuck that’s gotta be it.” (pause) “We gotta do something about it.”
“Do something about what?”
“That shit you were just talking about.”
“Oh yeah.” (Pause) “Light that joint, maybe it will make us that much more smarter and we’ll think of something?”
“Fucking A! You sure are smart sometimes! (Laughter)
Ed:LisaM
