A dialogue between George W. Bush and Sarah Palin.
The following conversation will take place in January 2011 after the Republican Party is nearly wiped from the face of the earth in the 2010 mid-term elections. It is the first event to take place at the Bush Presidential Library in Dallas Texas which isn’t scheduled to be competed until 2013. As President Bush once famously stated “We have to be ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen.” This is an advance transcript of an event that may or may not happen. The moderator, who may or may not still be there, is Michael Steele the besieged chairman of the Republican Party.
Mr. Steele: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the beautiful George W. Bush Presidential Library on this historic occasion. Here tonight, two of our nation’s most visionary thinkers will lay out a path to the resurgence of the Republican Party so that we can take our country back. Here, without further ado, for opening statements, I give you former President George W. Bush and the next president of the United States, Sarah Palin.
Mr. Bush: Thank you, thank you Michael. Hello Sarah (Mr. Bush reaches over to shake hands with Ms. Palin seated next to him.), good to see you. Hello America and welcome to my Presidential Library – they did a heck of a job on this place didn’t they? This is one good looking complex of building with all these papers and documents makes me feel like reading something. (Mr. Bush laughs and his shoulders shrug up and down.) Anyhow, you’ll know what we here for. Our party took one heck of a beating in that last election and we are here to showcase the lady who will lead the party back to victory like I did. I was able to convince the American people to give me two terms to serve them as their president and I’m gonna transfer some of that power of convincing to Sarah. I just got one thing to warn her ‘bout. When you appoint someone to head your vice presidential selection committee, make it clear to whoever it is, that they can’t choose themselves. That didn’t work so well for me. Sarah, what this country neesd now is a straight talking leader who can take this country forward. You see, our party has been stopping the action, all we say is no to this and no to that. We been standing still, looking backwards from the past. We need a leader who can get things done to the American people and Sarah; I know you can do it.
Mr. Steele: Ms. Palin, your opening statement please.
Ms. Palin: Thank you Mr. Steele. Thank you Mr. President (Ms. Palin touches Mr. Bush’s arm lightly) for inviting me to the opening night of your library. It’s an honor to be the first one here. And I want to publicly thank you for your confidence in me and for standing up for our brave troops while they were in a war fighting for America. I will do the same when I am your president. Looking at you I bet people are thinking they’re going to be interested in Jesus Christ through because of the way you look: this red-headed Sasquatch for Jesus. I may not answer the questions the way you and the moderator want to hear, but my record is out there and my life is out there. What I want to argue about is how are we to get there to positively effect the impacts we have got to clean up this planet. I believe that there is a plan for this world, and that plan is for good. I believe there is great hope and great potential for every country to be able to live and be protected with inalienable rights that I believe are God-given. And I believe that those are the rights to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That in my world view is a grand, grand plan.