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A Helping Hand: Does He Like Me Or Not?

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I've liked this guy for a while now. I think he likes me, too, but I'm not really sure. We've been flirting a lot. My friends say I should just tell him, but I'm old fashioned and romantic. I think a guy should approach the girl. Is there a way of knowing if he does like me even though he isn't asking me out?

You're not old-fashioned – you're smart. If he doesn't ask you out it is for one of two reasons:

1) He's not interested.

2) He's shy, unsure, or lacking confidence. This does not mean he needs a little push from you or any other woman. This means he doesn't have it to push himself.

While a shy or unsure man may sound like a dandy fix-it project for some women, for others it is an alarm. He lacks confidence and isn't willing to take the least risk to get what he wants. Later (in marriage, with children, and with job prospects) this can translate into unhappy relationships, abandoned children, and un/under-employment.

Throw hints at him until you're done doing so. If he doesn't take the bait, move on. Don't waste too much time on him, lest you walk right past the guy who really is willing to go on a limb for you.

Do be aware you may be masking your own insecurities and lack of confidence with terms like "old fashioned." This isn't likely given the amount of flirting you've mentioned, but just in case, be mindful of your willingness (or lack thereof) to drop those hints and give him the go-ahead.

It's worth noting the amount of concern you have for what he's doing rather than what you're doing. Do remember, the most effective way to attract the man you're looking for is to stop looking for him and invest in your own interests. A church-goer won't stumble across the man of her dreams in a bar, and a theater buff won't find Mr. Right at the laundromat.

Nothing is more attractive than someone enjoying themselves – so get out there and do your thing.

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About Diana Hartman

Diana is a USMC (ret.) spouse, mother of three and a Wichita, Kansas native. She is back in the United States after 10 years in Germany. She is a contributing author to Holiday Writes. She hates liver & motivational speakers. She loves science & naps.
  • heyy
    i know what you mean
    i have the same problem except his best mate like me as well and i let the other guy on and he started falling for it and then when the new term started he satrted being really mean to me , i admit it i m not popular , but i m not ugly beacuse ive been told i m not anyway…
    but this guy isn’t tooo atracive ether he is about average looking , so yeah i don’t know why hes stoped being you know flirtive with me. its really confussing
    ~cherry Kiss~

  • Courtney

    Theres this guy that i know from a sports club i go to. He seems to like holding my hand and he smiles at me a lot. We talk a lot. There was this one time, we were sat next to each other talking and i hit him on his knee, just gently like teasing because he is always teasing me, and he said “don’t do that you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Does he like me? I think he does and i like him but i am not sure.

  • samantha stoner

    yeah same here but instead of that hes got a girlfriend and he keeps staring at me everytime he sees me and one of my friends says that she talked to him and he said he thinks hes falling for me but i dont know whether or not to believe it so i dont know wat to do should i tell him or should i just wait and yeah i talked to him over the computer and he goes to my school so yeah but he keeps staring at me and i dont know wat to do so wat should i do

  • melissa

    i hav diz quy who asked meh if he wnted to be friendz widf benifitz n i dnt noe if he lykz meh or juz wntz meh or juz haz nobody else n i lyked meh fo 8 yrz n i dnt noe watt to do

  • melissa

    supposse to be hym…not meh sry….