As we get ready for the third episode of Survivor with the goat lady and the homophobe voted out of their respective tribes, it is a propitious time to take a look at what we have learned about the castaways and their machinations to date. Here, then, is my list of ten (make that eleven) notable tidbits.
1. Holly, the swim coach, who seemed in the first episode a reasonable human being, has turned into a nut job—moving between paranoia and guilt at manic pace.
2. Fisherman Jimmy T. wants attention to be paid. “Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?” Talk about flying under the radar.
3. Emergency room doc Jill is naïve enough to share her solution to the tree man rebus with two tribe mates. You have to wonder if she’s ever gotten out of the ER long enough to watch any of the previous seasons of the show.
4. A slip of Marty’s tongue when he found the immunity idol, quickly corrected, foreshadows just how naïve Jill may have been.
5. NaOnka is quick on the trigger, ready to go off for little or no reason. Or, at any rate if there was a reason, it was left on the cutting room floor. She knows who she likes, and who she likes sure isn’t clueless Fabio.
6. Clueless Fabio, or Jud as he is called at home in Venice, California, seems to be a youthful escapee from The Big Lebowski. And give the man back his socks.
7. Chase is ripe for Brenda’s picking, and Brenda knows which strings to pick—or pull depending on which cliché you prefer.
8. Sash is loudly not gay. He is also loudly part black; so if there is a race card, he has begun to play it.
9. Kelley B. has demonstrated that her artificial leg is not likely to be a handicap athletically; it remains to be seen if the supposed sympathy it would be likely to get for her at a final vote for the money would get her booted out anyway.
10. Dan likes expensive shoes and brings them along wherever he goes. Sixteen hundred dollar shoes to the beach: he deserves whatever they got.
11. Coach may be gone, but now we’ve got “The Coach” as Jimmy J. positions himself as rah-rah pep talker and strategist. Remember: “Who’s going to vote to give me a million dollars?”