Thursday , April 18 2024
Oh Apprentice, how happy am I that you're back on TV?

The Apprentice and the Evil Queen

I have long held my tongue on my views about The Apprentice. I sat back and said nothing during the inanity that was the Los Angeles season. I watch in silence as candidate after candidate after candidate embarrassed themselves and pretty much anyone that ever even considered looking in the general direction of a television that was showing The Apprentice. Frankly, there were moments that I felt dirty for even having The Apprentice on my TiVo Season Pass list.

And then, last night happened. The Celebrity Apprentice began. I've already commented on the broad definition that allows many of the people on the show to be termed a celebrity, but I don't think that's the point. The point is the clash of egos, and boy is the show loaded with them.

Not surprisingly, but sickeningly, the biggest ego belongs to the smallest celeb, Omarosa. Omarosa, the evil queen of The Apprentice's first season. Omarosa, the Dragon Lady to which all other reality show Dragon Ladies are compared. Omarosa, the holier, and far more incompetent, than thou reality "star."

Sadly, she makes for great television. If she didn't, she would have been fired last night. Trump even gave ex-Playmate Tiffany Fallon an opening that would have allowed Trump to can Omarosa. Tiffany was either too kind or naïve to take it and was shown the door herself.

I can hardly begin to imagine the difficulty The Donald had in making a decision about whom to fire last night. On the chopping block were: Omarosa, Carol Alt, and Tiffany Fallon. Or, put in other terms (and I think the terms Trump uses) — ratings gold, attractive former supermodel, attractive former Playmate of the Year. The man must have been having palpitations; how could he possibly make that choice? I think that in the end he decided that he could eliminate one of the two beautiful women, because he would still be left with the other and the ratings gold. If he got rid of ratings gold he would have the two beautiful women, but maybe not an audience, and he certainly wants an audience (but, don't we all).

And what about that Piers Morgan? The man is fantastically obnoxious. With any luck he and Omarosa will stick around long enough that they'll end up on the same team for a task. I'd guess that if that happens the show is going to be full of beeps as the number of four-letter words thrown out would be tremendous. Even so, it's something I'd like to see.

Okay, so in reality I'd like to see Omarosa get fired far more than I'd like to see her on the same team with Piers, but I just don't see that happening anytime soon. I don't imagine that she can possibly win, but I think she's going to stick around. She's going to be wretchedly bad at the tasks week in and week out, but she'll still be there.

I can't tell you how much I hope I'm wrong. I'm not wrong, I just hope I am. Let's all tune in next week, though, to make sure.

About Josh Lasser

Josh has deftly segued from a life of being pre-med to film school to television production to writing about the media in general. And by 'deftly' he means with agonizing second thoughts and the formation of an ulcer.

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