For some reason known only in the darkest recesses of my mind, I was excited when El Bicho offered me the opportunity to cover the 2006 Razzie awards. The Razzies have been the anti-Oscars, celebrating the worst in cinema for the last 26 years. Now I have been known to have an affectation for bad movies now and then, but the folks at the Razzies really have taken it to the extreme. This year’s ceremony was held at LA’s famous Ivar Theater on Saturday night…on Oscar Eve. And yours truly was there.
“Top” honors were handed out to the Worst Film of the year Dirty Love starring Worst Actress winner Jenny McCarthy, and SNL veteran Rob Schneider took the Worst Actor award for is fine work in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.
The show started off with a musical number spoofing RENT’s “Season Of Love” show-stopping ensemble piece. “Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure, measure a year”…our female and gay male readers (okay, and breeders like Mil Peliculas who like musicals) would find that one pretty amusing. Deliberately sung off-key at times, it recapped this year’s film fare with some funny results…but frankly, I was ready to go home after that. No surprise guests (unlike last year’s appearance of Halle Berry to pick up her Razzie) graced the hallowed halls this time around. And not one celebrity was there to offer their writing or comedy skills to warm up the evening. I mean, where was Gary Coleman, for crap’s sake? The cast of characters were mainly a bunch of wannabe actors and actresses looking to pad their resumes. Probably the hottest celeb there was the Channel 9 news chick…who stayed as far away from me as possible…bitch.
The press folks were crammed into the balcony and had to look over each other’s shoulders the whole time, and the result is I never really grabbed any photos of anything remotely interesting.
Good thing is I made it home with plenty of time to pop in my DVD of Valley Girl that I had rented from Blockbuster Online. Never seen that one before…not bad. Where was I? Oh, yeah, everything you ever wanted to know about the Razzies is merely a click away. But for my money, bad films, just like good ones, need to stand the test of time.
Bad films like Dirty Love are bad, but who cares? Now, bad films that are “so bad they are good” are something else entirely. Only after a bad movie has lasted for decades can it truly be worth your time — those are called “anti-classics.” Good for all the wrong reasons. Probably the most famous one being Plan 9 From Outer Space — a heroically entertaining movie because of its egregious ineptitude. Those kinds of films really grow on you because the filmmakers really thought they were making something important, and missed the mark so horribly that it becomes endearing.
Worst Picture: Dirty Love
Worst Actor: Rob Schneider Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Worst Actress: Jenny McCarthy Dirty Love
Worst Supporting Actor: Hayden Christensen Star Wars III
Worst Supporting Actress: Paris Hilton House Of Wax
Worst Screen Couple: Will Ferrell & Nicole Kidman Bewitched
Worst Remake Or Sequel: Son Of The Mask
Worst Screenplay: Dirty Love, Written by Jenny McCarthy
Worst Director: John Asher / Dirty Love
Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Oprah Winfrey’s Couch, The Eiffel Tower and “Tom’s Baby”
This report was filed by Mil Peliculas