Special Election Non-coverage

Jon Stewart’s Daily Show will make it up as they go along in “Indecision 02” special:

To ready himself for election night coverage, CBS News anchor Dan Rather has been studying the issues for weeks. To prepare for his completely made-up election-night coverage, comedian Jon Stewart jokes that he starts to drink a few hours before the polls close.

Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” presents a special edition of the show in honor of elections. Stewart says that just like “The Daily Show,” the “Indecision 02” special doesn’t use any reporters to gets its news.

“We have actually no news gathering capabilities, so … it’s sort of like writing an interactive video,” Stewart explains. “We write to what we imagine will be the themes of the night.”

So what is Stewart always scribbling on the pages in front of him? Stewart says he’s doodling, not updating his stories. He says it keeps his mind off the fact that he quit smoking a year and a half ago.

Here is the statement of purpose from the show’s website:

The 2002 midterm elections are almost upon us, and Americans are displaying the kind of civic enthusiasm not seen since…well, pretty much just “not seen.” Chances are, you haven’t been getting all that excited about it. In fact, you’ve probably received only two or three “Election Night Party E-vites,” instead of the usual glut. But there’s a good reason for the apathy. Before Election Fever can catch on, people need a better understanding of what exactly is at stake.

On November 5th, Americans with nothing better to do will be going to the polls to choose all the members of the House of Representatives, as well as a third of the Senate. Republicans are expected to retain control of the House, though only by a handful of seats, in accordance with the popular political maxim that anything bigger than a handful is just too much. Meanwhile, Democrats will be struggling to hold on to their razor-thin majority in the Senate. Either way, barring a major political event in the next month, the gap between the parties will remain one of the smallest in history. We can only hope for another economy-shattering corporate scandal or devastating terrorist attack to shake things up a bit.

Arguably, control of the Senate is the real prize. Whichever party gains control not only has influence over Bush’s judicial nominees, but also earns the right to decorate the chamber, and GOP leaders have already determined the perfect spot to hang their hilarious “Life is Full of Difficult Choices” beer poster. Of course, such an advantage may come at the expense of legislative efficiency, as having a large majority of either Republican or Democratic Senators would make it that much harder for the two parties to pair up during “couples skate.”

Also up for grabs this year are more than one-third of state governorships. Even if your state is not having a gubernatorial contest, these elections are at least noteworthy for the chance to watch adult men and women say “goober” over and over again without giggling.

When all is said and done, however, can either party be said to have “won?” Well, if winning means defeating your opponent by getting more votes than they did, then yes. The victorious side will enjoy the perks that come with rushing headlong into an expensive war, while the losers will be faced with the daunting task of coming up with new and improved ways to assign blame to the other guys. Until the votes are counted, however, there’s one question that must take precedence over all others: How will Florida find a way to screw it all up?