Silly Slattern Silent

Paris Hilton attended the premiere party Tuesday for her new “reality” show, The Simple Life, but did not speak to the press, because they’re mean and stuff and think she is a stupid slut, which just isn’t, you know, fair. Just because she was raised with EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE advantage and didn’t even bother to go to college, and all she has ever done is party like it’s 1999 and smear video cameras with her bodily fluids is no reason to be mean and think she’s nothing but a vacant jiz bucket. Jeez.

The party at the nightspot Bliss marked a public re-emergence of the 22-year-old media magnet. Hilton has shunned publicity appearances, including a guest spot on Late Night With David Letterman, since a 3-year-old sex tape of her and then-boyfriend Rick Salomon surfaced last month.

The hotel heiress, who became famous because of her appearances at paparazzi-laden events, posed for pictures but took no questions as she speed-walked the crowded rope line, arm in arm with her father just moments before the reality show’s first broadcast.

….Inside the club, a smiling Paris greeted friend Nicole Richie, 21, her co-star on the Green Acres-style reality series, which follows the two Beverly Hills socialites as they try to survive a month on an Arkansas farm.

The pair sat together in the center of the main room, becoming a show within a show, as photographers and reporters watched them watch themselves projected larger than life on a wall.

….At one point in the program – Tuesday’s highest rated among young adults – silent Paris made her loudest comment of the evening, cupping her hand over her mouth and shouting, “Quiet!” [USA Today]

See she remembered what she was told to do – isn’t that pretty smart?