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Brokeback Mountain + Cheney = Pain?

Satire: Cheney’s Gay Partner Shot

Vice President Dick Cheney’s Saturday shooting of a man was no hunting accident, White House sources said Monday. The victim, Austin attorney Harry Whittington, had planned to make an announcement Feb. 14 about his real relationship with Cheney, the source said.

For years Cheney has been having a sexual relationship with the man he “accidently sprayed with buckshot,” the source said. The two men watched Brokeback Mountain the prior weekend and it apparently triggered a reaction.

Whittington was going to hold a press conference on Valentine’s Day to tell the world that he and Cheney were gay lovers. He was going to say that the movie appeared to be based on his relationship with Cheney.

For the next few days, aides said, Cheney grew even angrier and more hostile than usual, which they can tell because his bald head turns red and he cusses more then normal. Calls to Cheney’s office, asking whether he had ordered the wiretapping of Whittington’s phone, went unanswered.

An anonymous source, whose name rhymes with gorge tush, said, “Dick just totally went nuclear. He said, ‘I’ll show you a war on terror!’ ”

Cheney had hoped the media would not find out about the shooting, sources said. He was also disappointed that Whittington survived because it ruined his plan to pin blame on the shooting at the feet of al-Qaida.

About Scott Butki

Scott Butki was a newspaper reporter for more than 10 years before making a career change into education... then into special education. He has been doing special education work for about five years He lives in Austin.He reads at least 50 books a year and has about 15 author interviews each year and, yes, unlike tv hosts he actually reads each one.He is an in-house media critic, a recovering Tetris addict and a proud uncle.He has written articles on practically all topics from zoos to apples and almost everything in between.

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