I’m the first to admit that I am not the most “athletic” guy in the world. My idea of a rigorous daily exercise routine involves walking through the grocery store or getting up off of the couch in order to find something to eat. When I was in school, I never partook in any sports activities — partially because I was a double-jointed nerd, but mainly because I didn’t give a rat’s ass about sports (which I suppose is basically the same thing). To this day, even after having worked in several sports bars, I still know very little about sports: it‘s just a bunch of beefed up guys playing with a ball to me.
And so, the thought of me playing a sports video game such as Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 might seem laughable to some. It certainly did to me when I put it in. But, within minutes, the sheer and utter “coolness” of the game was starting to overwhelm me. Apart from the great 780p graphics and a number of groovy (licensed) songs that the game has to offer, Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 is also just plain exciting — even for a snob like me.
With a number of options available, players can hit the field to practice, assemble their own teams (using a database of actual players, so I’m lead to understand — like I would know), play an exhibition game (sadly, I discovered that meant something entirely different), battle other players at home or online, and even “Become A Legend” (wherein you can try to take one of your made-up characters to the status of icon). Real life commentators Jon Champion and Mark Lawrenson lend their voices to the game, and the assembly of their voices during gameplay is very realistic — and the graphics are so good on the players and field, that they border on jaw-dropping at times.
Personally, I found the gameplay itself is a little less simplistic than I would prefer it to be. Sometimes, the team had difficulties adhering to my directions. And then there are those controls — as to how they expect me to push so many buttons at once on these things with my double-jointed hands is beyond me. But, all in all, it really didn’t matter to me: the game was enthralling enough that I worked around those obstacles. I was having a ball (no pun intended) shouting at my onscreen players to get their asses in gear (their disobedience makes it more fun to me), screaming obscenities at the referee every time he presented a yellow or red card (which is bad, I learned), and working up a sweat from playing Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 all night.
In short: Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 is a lot of fun — even for an unathletic nerd like me. Now if they would just add a option for me to bring in the sniper from Two-Minute Warning (1976) or the blimp from Black Sunday (1977), I might actually be able to win against that damn computer.
Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 is rated E (Everyone) by the ESRB for Mild Lyrics. This game can also be found on: Xbox 360, PC, PSP, PS2, and Wii.