Blogcritics The critical lens on today's culture & entertainment
As you may recall, last time we met we were discussing my plans for Disney's new Sword in the Stone ride. It's going to be a Fantasyland-style ride, with guests sitting down and going through the movie. It will, of course, start with the narration that opens the film, which discusses the myth of the sword in the stone. Guests will be seated on modified horses (jousting does of course play a role in the film) that gallop along for the travels. Read on to find out more.
Sunday, June 29:
8:00 – 9:00PM
Nature – “The Vanishing Lions." The lions are missing! The lions are missing! Well, they're going missing anyway. They exist now, but they're disappearing from Africa's savannah at a terrible rate. Why, I ask you, why? Watch and maybe you'll find out.
9:00PM – 10:30PM
Masterpiece Mystery! – "Inspector Lewis, Series I – Old School Ties." For those of you not steeped in British police drama culture, "Inspector Lewis" is a spinoff off of "Inspector Morse." For his series, Lewis heads to Oxford to solve crimes. I'll certainly be watching (or will have watched it already depending on how things work out).
10:30 – 11:00PM
Garden Insects. This thirty minute show features close-up photography and an original score as well as facts about insects, their habitat, and their life cycle. I can’t even imagine spending the hours necessary to get the footage, can you imagine the tedium? Can you imagine scoring the tedium of getting the footage? Or facts about getting the footage? Now that I’d like to see.
Monday, June 30:
8:00 – 9:00PM
Antiques Roadshow – "Houston (Hour Two." I'm not going to say the line. I'm just not going to say it. There may be "issues" with the antiques in Houston. There may be quibbles about their value. There maybe conundrums with what to do with the stuff. What there certainly will not be are problems. There will be no problems.
9:00 – 10:00PM
History Detectives. This show may be the most fascinating show ever, it really may, but it’s title leave a lot to be desired, not like the next show, the next show has the single greatest title for a show that I’ve ever heard (other than “Josh Lasser, You’ve Been Hired as an Imagineer” of course)
10:00 – 11:00PM
The War of the World – "The Clash of Empires." What caused World War II? Well, this series suggest that it was "economic volatility, ethnic conflict, and empires in crisis." To me, that sounds like a cop out of an answer. It may be true, and I'm sure that they're going to go into great depth about it, but if they added "religious differences" they'd pretty much have listed the cause of almost every war there has ever been.
Tuesday, July 1:
8:00 – 9:00PM
Nova – "Fireworks!." What is it that makes fireworks tick? More accurately, what is it that makes fireworks go boom and do it with such brilliant awesome colors and neat-o shapes? That's a great question, I'm glad you asked, and this episode is going to delve into it, much as it did many years ago when it originally aired.
9:00 – 10:00PM
Wide Angle – “Heart of Darfur.” The premiere episode of the seventh season of the series delves into the problems in Darfur, which are legion. The Darfur Peace Agreement is "in shambles" and many are worried that the violence will soon be refreshed. Watch and find out why and what might be done to avert it.
10:00 – 11:00PM
P.O.V. – "Election Day." Interestingly, this is actually 12 stories all mashed together. They all take place on November 2, 2004 and look at different people/groups who voted and why. What with the new election coming quickly, this could be terribly, terribly interesting. It could also make you really frustrated with the results from four years ago. All depends on who you are.
Wednesday, July 2:
8:00 – 9:00PM
Great Lodges of the National Parks. It's back! It's back! The new season is upon us and we're going to learn all about some swell places to stay in Death Valley, the Northwest, and by Hawaii's volcanoes. Those won't all be tonight, but they will be this season (maybe). Oh I can't wait, I just can't wait.
8:30 – 10:00PM
Nova scienceNOW. ScienceNOW is the newest addition to the Nova family, currently in its third season. Episodes in this series look at a variety of topics over the course of a single episode instead of just one thing for the whole hour.
10:00 – 11:00PM
Carrier "Super Secrets." Well, here it is, again, PBS has previewed it over and over and over again, and now the time has finally arrived. Carrier is here (in repeat fashion). The series follows a group of people on board the USS Nimitz, from admirals on down to newbie sailors. It promises to be a fascinating look not just at this mammoth aircraft carrier, but the Navy in general.
Thursday, July 3:
8:00 – 9:00PM
The This Old House Hour – Episode TBA. It’s This Old House and Ask This Old House. It’s like maintenance… for your home. Wait, no, that’s exactly what it is. That doesn’t mean it’s not awesome though. Seriously, The This Old House Hour is one of the finest home improvement hours on PBS. No joke.
9:00 – 10:00PM
Antiques Roadshow – "Houston (Hour Two)." I'm not going to say the line. I'm just not going to say it. There may be "issues" with the antiques in Houston. There may be quibbles about their value. There maybe conundrums with what to do with the stuff. What there certainly will not be are problems. There will be no problems.
10:00 – 11:00PM
Soundstage – "REO Speedwagon." Are these the "Taking Care of Business" people? It was awesome when Homer told them to play that song and then told them to just play the good part. It was funny and true at the same time. I appreciate that sort of thing from my comedy.
Friday, July 4:
8:00 – 9:30PM
A Capitol Fourth. It's party time for our country, and party time on the West Lawn. I tend to imagine it's always party time with our President anyway, but now it's really party time. He seems like a "party time" kind of guy. People apparently like the idea of going to the bar and having a beer with him. Me, I'd totally watch fireworks with the dude.
9:30 – 11:00PM
A Capitol Fourth. It's party time for our country, and party time on the West Lawn. I tend to imagine it's always party time with our President anyway, but now it's really party time. He seems like a "party time" kind of guy. People apparently like the idea of going to the bar and having a beer with him. Me, I'd totally watch fireworks with the dude.
Saturday, July 5:
8:00 – 9:00PM
Austin City Limits – "Femi Kuti." Femi Kuti is a Nigerian bandleader and political activist all wrapped up into one. He plays music on this show. So, if you watch the show you are more than likely going to see this guy play music. It's that sort of a program.
After the basic introduction to the myth, things will begin in earnest. In the next area of the ride, guests will find themselves at Merlin's hut as he prepares for the arrival of Wart (not that he knows it's Wart he's preparing for). They'll meet, chat it up, and the room will finish with bits of " Higitus Figitus," the song Merlin sings that shrinks everything in his apartment so that he can go and teach Wart. It's a great song, I highly recommend it. Want to know more? Take a Quantum of Solace from the fact that you learn more about the ride next week.
