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I pretend sometimes that I'm James Bond. What of it?

PBS Primetime Programming for The Week of February 10

I've always wondered, how exactly do you say it? Dee-nee-dee-nee? You know what I'm saying, it's the Bond music, and I love it. When new Bond movies come out I sing the theme for days on end. Days. Not only that, I do the whole pretend gun out of my hands thing. No, it doesn't make me a loser, it makes me the perfect person to do a walk-on in Quantum of Solace.

 

Sunday, February 10:

8:00 – 9:00PM

Nature – “Crash: A Tale of Two Species”. Ah, the great circle of life. The horseshoe crab is a part of that circle. Another part of that circle is the red knot. The problem is that horseshoe crab numbers are dwindling. That is apparently because they're being used as bait. That's going to cause a problem for the red knot. Watch and find out how.

9:00 – 11:00PM

Masterpiece Theatre – "The Complete Jane Austen". Holy macaroni! They're going to show pretty much every Jane Austen work they can get their hands on. That's actually why they call it "The Complete Jane Austen," they're going to show all of it. Up this week, "Pride and Prejudice (Part One)."

 

Monday, February 11:

8:00 – 9:00PM

Antiques Roadshow – "Orlando (Hour Three)". The Roadshow is going to Disney World! Let's admit it, there's nothing else there. I know, Sea World, Universal Studios, whatever, none of it is Disney. Disney definitely has antique stuff, not antique like 500 years old, but antique like collectible.

9:00 – 11:00PM

The Mormons – "101". If Big Love has taught me anything, and I think it has, the Mormons are a good people, except for the Harry Dean Stanton types. The Bill Paxtons are good, they may do some bad, but they're good, but those Harry Dean Stantons are trouble. They just are.

 

Tuesday, February 12:

8:00 – 9:00PM

Nova – "AstroSpies". Did you know that there was "an elite corps of clandestine astronauts" who were "never told the true purpose of their training program?" Oh, it's true, they were out there just like the folks in Moonraker all ready to kill Jaws and Hugo Drax if they ever made it into space.

9:00 – 11:00PM

The Mormons – "102". I said it for part one and now I'm going to say it for part two, if Big Love has taught me anything, and I think it has, the Mormons are a good people, except for the Harry Dean Stanton types. The Bill Paxtons are good, they may do some bad, but they're good, but those Harry Dean Stantons are trouble. They just are.

 

Wednesday, February 13:

8:00 – 9:00PM

America's Ballroom Challenge – “International Standard”. Some of the finest dancers in North America gather at the Columbus convention center in Ohio to dance their hearts out. Up this week, the International Standard division. For those of you who don't know that's the waltz, tango, Viennese waltz, foxtrot, and quickstep. The quickstep — I wonder if that means that they ate something that went bad.

9:00PM – 11:00PM

African American Lives 2 – "We Come From the People/The Past is Another Country". As with every week, this week the show examines the lives and family history of famous (and less so) African American individuals. This week, Morgan Freeman and Professor Gates.

Thursday, February 14:

8:00 – 9:00PM

The This Old House Hour – Episode TBA. It’s This Old House and Ask This Old House. It’s like maintenance… for your home. Wait, no, that’s exactly what it is. That doesn’t mean it’s not awesome though. Seriously, The This Old House Hour is one of the finest home improvement hours on PBS. No joke.

9:00 – 10:00PM

Antiques Roadshow – "Orlando (Hour Three)". The Roadshow is going to Disney World! Let's admit it, there's nothing else there. I know, Sea World, Universal Studios, whatever, none of it is Disney. Disney definitely has antique stuff, not antique like 500 years old, but antique like collectible.

10:00 – 11:00PM

Soundstage – "John Fogerty (Part 2)". Put him in coach. He's ready to play. Today. Look at him. He could be center field. I like that Fogerty kid. He doesn't only sing a good song, he writes a great tune. Tonight he sings some of those tunes.

 

Friday, February 15:

8:00 – 8:30PM

Washington Week with Gwen Ifill and National Journal #4733. Another whole week has gone by and good old Gwen Ifill and National Journal are here to fill us in. For the record, I like to pretend the National Journal is a sidekick, like Robin to Batman, Starsky to Hutch, or chocolate sauce to chocolate ice cream.

8:30 – 9:00PM

NOW on PBS #407. It’s the Emmy award-winning weekly newsmagazine. It looks at issues facing our democracy. The show is hosted by David Brancaccio. And, even better, they still send me e-mails (I think that makes me cool and them nice). Thanks, Now, you guys are awesome!

9:00 – 10:00PM

Bill Moyers Journal #1145. It’s Bill Moyers. It’s his 1,145th journal (not really, but I’m not going to explain to you the way in which TV shows are numbered at this point in time, maybe later if you’re nice). He’s a good journalist so I assume this will be good journalism (at least the odds are it will).

10:00PM – 11:00PM

In Search of Shakespeare – "The Lost Years". This is a four-part series. It's all hosted by Michael Wood. This week he's looking at the years Shakespeare went missing. Few people know this but he went on a trip with the Doctor (he's the last of the Time Lords). I don't think Wood goes into that realm of the "truth" but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

 

Saturday, February 16:

9:00 – 10:00PM

Austin City Limits – "Norah Jones". She's a singer. She's a songwriter. She's just plain awesome. You like her. I like her. Austin City Limits likes her, and that's why she's back again. You know you want to hear her sing. I certainly do.

 

That's right, I do the whole fake gun thing while singing the James Bond theme song. Not only that, I do the walk, turn, and shoot the camera thing, too. Okay, better than that, I made a short film in graduate school entitled Goldenfurby. It was a stop-motion animation short that featured two furbies acting out the pre-title sequence to Goldeneye. I'll tell you more about it next week, but you figure out how to get me a walk-on role in the new movie.

About Josh Lasser

Josh has deftly segued from a life of being pre-med to film school to television production to writing about the media in general. And by 'deftly' he means with agonizing second thoughts and the formation of an ulcer.

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