Tuesday , May 21 2024

Nerds Make Better Lovers! Yes!

Apparently, nerds make better lovers. Here.

This article doesn’t say that nerds are better in bed, it just says that nerds attract women who want to settle down. “A nerd is an excellent provider and a guy who puts you first,” says E. Jean Carroll, Elle magazine’s love and sex advice columnist. “He’ll turn out to be a great father and a great husband.”

Celebrity examples are Christina Aguilera – who is engaged to “smarty-pants music executive Jordan Bratman, Adam Brody – who is dating Rachel Bilson, David Arquette – who is married to Courteney Cox (man did she get super hot during the 8th and 9th seasons of Friends), and Tiger Woods – who is married to the very hot Swedish model Elin Nordegren.

We’ve all had our fantasies about dating and marrying the women of our dreams – hot supermodels and gorgeous actresses. You know the women of my dreams in my “Top 5 On-Screen Beauties“. But maybe the woman of my reality is someone whom isn’t 5’7”, 110 lbs. and has a 46C rack. I’ve never realized that I might just be looking in the wrong places. Instead of going to the gym to look for girls, I really should be going to the library and working my mojo there.

“We’ve all been to bed with the guy who is worried about what he looks like, checking the mirror before he gets in bed,” she said. “The nerd, gloriously, stunningly, perfectly, is into the woman. That right there is very stirring, sexually.”

In all seriousness, I am a dork so this article doesn’t really apply to me. But I do take to heart that there are other things to look for in the opposite sex that isn’t aesthetic. There is personality, and gosh darnit that is what I have. I just haven’t been able to find the girl who can appreciate my goods. They should be reading this article, not me.

Either I should be finding the nerd girl for me, or I should be finding the hottie who’s into nerds. “Geeks have got the goods.”

About Tan The Man

Tan The Man writes mostly about film and music. He has previously covered events like Noise Pop, Outside Lands Music and Arts Festival, South By Southwest, TBD Festival, and Wizard World Comic Con.

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