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Lady Gaga’s little monsters begin to waver while the Mother herself is as serious as ever.

Lady Gaga, Please Don’t Call Me ‘Monster’

Lady Gaga - Born This WayWhen I was growing up I thought ‘monster’ was my name. I don’t know how long it will take me to get over the effects of these unfortunate quasi-nomination games by my unfortunate parents, but the fact remains: I don’t really want anyone calling me monster ever again, even if it is the self-proclaimed messiah, the omnipresent and omnipotent Lady Gaga, who is so eager to protect the Other. I haven’t asked her to delegate for me, the freak, and the outsider. But hold on. I didn’t get to the best part yet. I am also ‘little’.

So Lady Gaga has upset her gay fans? Really? Finally, I mean? I thought I was the slow one but hey, it takes perspective, and wisdom, to see what you have in front of you. And in the case of Lady Gaga, there is nothing but cold-blooded calculation, which is heartbreaking. She was such a visionary in those days of ‘Poker Face’ yore.

The trouble is, you see, the people you are ‘speaking’ for may start resenting you someday. After all, they have a voice of their own. I, for that matter, don’t need anyone to tell me what I should be labeled just because my sexuality is what it is (I won’t tell, keep guessing). And, frankly speaking, uplifting words about how everyone is beautiful coming from a person strategically and systematically covering up her face, sounds not only false and laughable but insulting. Not everyone is beautiful, period.

But the difference between Gaga and the other Others is that they can’t cover their faces up with paint, a Phillip Tracey hat or a smoking swarm of cigarette butts. They have to deal with that reflection in the mirror every day, because ‘little monsters’ or not, going to the office in an eggshell is a no-no, and Gaga isn’t helping anyone in any way by screaming that she was ‘born this way’ because she wasn’t. She was born some other way. The rest was manufactured.

Everything that Lady Gaga is saying lately is not just calculated, cold and manipulative; it’s boring. She takes herself so seriously, that everything about her routine, from sleeping in her clothes to waking up to do yoga is so serious it should be put into some sort of scientific manual, or framed upon a wall; the air coming from her mouth should be frozen for preservation.

It’s hard to understand what this woman thinks she is. She is clearly a talented singer and composer. But what else?

Lady Gaga teaches her fans their main religion is pop culture and their main goal in life is to be true to who they are. The me-me-me philosophy works fine with the creative bunch, the rags to riches, the from nothing to something, and the nice industrious types, so to say. How about the folks whose aspirations aren’t all that pretty? Should they also embrace who they are, even what they really strive for is, to say, hurt a child? Do they also get up to do five-minute affirmations about how wonderful they are? Where does this rhetoric stop exactly? Does Lady Gaga provide any small print in that lifestyle manual of hers for the unbelievers like me, who tend to doubt and question rather than proclaim and affirm?

When Lady Gaga wakes up in the morning, before doing the hard-hard yoga, she tells herself how wonderful she is. When I wake up in the morning I tell God how wonderful he/she/it is and how thankful I am for everything I have. And that, I guess, is the biggest difference between us. Who exactly is the monster here is neither for me, nor for her, to decide.

About Sviatlana Piatakova

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