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Kucinich Snags Tilly

Dennis Kucinich is not going to win the Democratic nomination for president, although he HAS convinced around 1% of the voting Democrats that he’s their man. Perhaps his campaign should not be considered a “failure” however, as how else would such a rodential-looking middle-aged fellow from Cleveland snag a date with Jennifer Tilly, while leaving Cybill Shepherd pining for him?

    Democratic presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich took his quest for a girlfriend to late-night television – and won a date with actress Jennifer Tilly.

    The Ohio congressman, who has been divorced twice, asked questions of a trio of unseen women Thursday in a takeoff on “The Dating Game” on NBC’s “Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”

    Responses by Tilly, actress Cybill Shepherd and Los Angeles radio talk show host Kim Serafin blended sexual innuendo with politics and references to Kucinich’s environmental concerns.

    Serafin said she would help Kucinich relax after a long day on the campaign trail by rubbing him “with oil not tested on animals.”

    Shepherd, in a reference to Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl halftime show, plotted a “wardrobe malfunction” – pulling up her dress to reveal red boxers.

    Kucinich asked bachelorette No. 1: “So I win the Democratic nomination, but I have laryngitis so I ask you to make the victory speech. What do you say?”

    “Good evening delegates,” Tilly responded. “My husband, Dennis, thought he was going to lose so he didn’t write a victory speech. And now he’s pretending like he has laryngitis.”

    ….After Kucinich selected Tilly and she emerged from behind a screen, Leno presented Kucinich with a gift certificate to a Santa Monica vegan restaurant. [AP]

Maybe Dennis is much more clever than I had imagined and the whole “presidential campaign” thing has really been a plot to hook a hottie, like, you know, the real reason so many pursue rock ‘n’ roll.

And besides access to honeys, Kucinich has met Willie Nelson, Ani DiFranco, Alice Walker, Ed Asner, Danny Glover, Howard Zinn, Tom Hayden, Pete Seeger, Professor Irwin Corey, and the Roberts twins – Eric and Tanya .

Hmm, maybe there are worse places to be popular than Mars. The dude is definitely coming out of this smelling sweeter than Howard Dean, and who would have predicted THAT two months ago? Besides, the stoners dig him.

About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: Twitter@amhaunted, Facebook.com/amhaunted, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.

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