Saturday , December 5 2020

Feel the Vibe

Remember the old Sergio Valente jeans jingle? “Oh oh, Ser-gi-oh-oh.” I think Audio-Oh should adapt the jingle to their own uses: “Oh oh, Au-di-oh-oh,” and people who are using it can discreetly signal to their fellow stimulatees, like an auditory wink.

I also had a hard time figuring out which category to put this entry one in: is it music? Not really – it’s using the patterns of music to create something else: “infinitely variable pulses of pleasure.” So I guess it’s Et Cetera with attitude:

    Audi-Oh™ is a revolution in stimulation technology for men or women. Sound is converted into infinitely variable pulses of pleasure. Audi-Oh can use ambient sound, like the music in your favorite club, or direct audio input from devices such as portable CD players, MP3 players, your PC or home audio and video systems. You’ll find a million ways to use Audi-Oh!

    Audi-Oh was designed to resemble a pager. Its compact form and high-tech appearance allows it to be worn discreetly in public. Unlike other stimulation devices on the market, Audi-Oh is designed using advanced technologies, exacting engineering standards and highest quality materials. You can even use Audi-Oh without audio input using the manual control options. Find your groove – order today!

    The standard attachments included with the Audi-Oh Starter Pack include a washable vibrating bullet with a 36 inch cord and a slip-on hypo-allergenic soft silicone accessory with straps for external stimulation. We will be adding numerous other attachments and accessories for the Audi-Oh in the near future. If you have a favorite accessory that you would like to experience with Audi-Oh, let us know. (via Boing Boing)

I like that solicitation for “favorite accessories.” For school, for work, for the breakfast table: discreet stimulation from a good vibration. People will be walking around with odd little smiles on their faces, suddenly squirming for no apparent reason, discreetly shifting their weight. I can see John Ashcroft giving congressional testimony on the Patriot Act while in the thrall of this device, or just holding a press conference – maybe they’ll bring back the statue with the breasts.

I’ve noticed the site’s “Tips and Tricks” section is a little thin:

    “Slip sliding away…”

    We strongly recommend that you slightly lubricate the bullet attachement before inserting it into any slip-over accessory, or yourself for that matter. This will make removing the bullet later much easier.

    “Just the two of us…”

    To enjoy Audi-Oh with an external audio device such as a portable CD player quietly, purchase a Dual 1/8″ Jack Adapter and a male/male 1/8″ audio cable from … any … audio equipment retailer that carries audio cables and accessories. The next step is to plug the Jack Adapter into the output jack (headphone jack) on your audio device. Now, plug your headphones into one of the Jack Adapter’s jacks and the audio cable into the other. Plug the other end of the audio cable into the input jack on the Audi-Oh itself. You should be ready to rock! Quietly of course.

My thought is that we should help them with some tips and tricks of our own – the comments section awaits.

About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: [email protected],, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.

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