Dirrrrrty – No, Really

The TV was on MTV as I walked by yesterday and a severe close-up of Christina Aguilera caught my eye: it was the new video to her single “Beautiful.” What I saw over the next few minutes made me shudder with horror.

First, Christina, who is not fundamentally unattractive, has done all she can to make herself so: her skin is dyed orange so she looks like an emaciated Oompa-Loompa. She is pierced in the nose and lip, her hair is ratty. She is dressed like Back-Alley Barbie. I am becoming physically ill.

But then, wait, it gets better: I am certain she thinks herself brave, or a champion of the oppressed, or something because suddenly the screen cuts to a radically unattractive transvestite staring into space and looking both tragic and retarded at the same time.

Then the screen cuts to two men kissing, really kissing, for a long time. I am unequivocally in favor of full gay rights, marriage, insurance privileges, etc, but I don’t want to see men – or women – make out onscreen for extended periods of time. Sorry, call me a bigot, it makes me queasy.

It all fits in very well into the new Christina milleu: tasteless, offensive, ugly, dirty – not in a good way; and, oh yeah, the song is a wretched R&B ballad sung in her affected post-diva, wring-every-note-of-every-faux-emotional-drop style. If hell had entertainment, it would look and sound something like this.