CMA Steers Right Down the Middle

As always the subject of the Dixie Chicks generates more heat and gas than a cattle drive. Very interesting that the CMA chose a Clintonian triangulation for this year’s awards show: not inviting the double-nominated Dixie Chicks to appear, handing Chicks-nemesis Toby Keith the spotlight, but then totally shutting him out with zero awards despite seven nominations.

It’s like: “get lost Chicks with your Hollywood limo-liberal attitudes and eat shit while you’re at it, but this Keith buffoon is an embarrassment in the other direction. What will the soccer moms think if we pile a bunch of awards on this diesel-huffing lunkhead?”

So they chose the suburban “middle way,” stiffing both extremes and saluting the now-safe dead guy Johnny Cash:

Cash won the Country Music Association’s video of the year award Wednesday night for “Hurt.” He also won single of the year for the song and album of the year – giving him his first CMA award since 1969 and tying him with Alan Jackson for most wins during the night.

Jackson won three awards, including vocal event of the year for his hit duet with Jimmy Buffett, “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere.” Jackson also won male vocalist of the year and entertainer of the year – giving him 16 career CMA awards. Vince Gill, who hosted the show, holds the record with 18.

“Thank you, Alan Jackson – I’m glad I can help your struggling career,” Buffett joked. “It was about 31 years ago I came to this town to pursue my musical madness. I never won anything for anything and it’s great to do it here.”

Jackson said, “Thank you, Jimmy. No problem.”

Martina McBride got the nod for female vocalist of the year over Dolly Parton, Patty Loveless, Alison Krauss and Terri Clark.

“I’m so honored to be in this category,” McBride said. “Dolly Parton, my God, she’s my female vocalist of the year every year.”

Toby Keith led all nominees with seven but was shut out. Keith was nominated for best entertainer, male vocalist, and album of the year for “Unleashed.” “Beer For My Horses,” a collaboration with Willie Nelson, was nominated for best song, single, music video and vocal event.

….Cash has now won nine CMA awards, the last coming in 1969 when he won a then-record five awards in one night. That record has been tied by Gill and Jackson.

“I don’t believe it’s a token recognition,” John Carter Cash said. “This is about a great impact in the history of music.” [AP]

Sure, whatever – no way Johnny would have won anything from these rhinestone retards if he hadn’t died. That’s just the way it is. The Chicks would have welcomed if they were dead too.