Thursday , March 28 2024
This is what happens when five guys get together to write a guide to sex.

Book Review: Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk by The Association for Betterment of Sex

Proof that it pays to approach sex with a sense of humor! That’s how these five guys, who make up The Association for Betterment of Sex (ABS), decided to clear up the confusion caused by middle-school curriculum and pornographic playing cards.

In Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk, the ABS authors take on the mission of teaching you about sex, “as a sexy, intelligent person deserves to be taught.” But who are these people? By day, these guys want us to believe they have worked as skilled writers; yes, paid writers, on The Daily Show, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, for Vanity Fair magazine and the Onion. Their real names are Scott Jacobson, Todd Levin, Jason Roeder, Mike Sacks, and Ted Travelstead. Together, they toss out just the right mix of sex, humor, and parody to pull this off.

Being men, of course, they begin Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk with the most talented appendage, the penis. “It greets each day with a sun salutation, announcing itself stiff and proud…” or not. The curious beast is not without its moods and obligations. Luckily the authors share five tricks to distort the truth. Rush to page nine if you really need a hand.

Relax now, as the vagina receives equal time, and in fact celebrates its ability to inspire great artists. From Picasso’s geometrical vaginas to Georgia O’Keefe’s desert landscapes, the vagina has its place in history.

Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk removes the mystery of accelerating from foreplay to sex with the “Human Sexual Response Cycle,” also known as the “Four Seasons of Horny.” Use it to impress your date, and have fun while learning a few new tricks to satisfy your partner or yourself. You’ll at least improve your techniques, if not your reading speed. You have to slow down to  go deeper. Although, if you’re turned on by line-drawings, you’ll have to put the book down now and then.

Beyond plain vanilla sex, the men of ABS discuss fetishes and have some good ideas for role-playing, but they’re just guessing at the LBGT lifestyle. They did break through to gay pick-up language, though, with the help of the Da Vinci Code in public bathrooms.

Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk will also teach you the truth and spread a few myths about the big ‘O’ and the “Calmer Sutra,” something you’re not likely to find in another sex manual. But then, why waste time reading another sex manual? This book hands you the key to satisfaction and pleasure.

Stephen Colbert calls this: “The perfect coffee table book for people with sexually inadequate houseguests.”

Review based on softcover edition provided by publisher.

About Helen Gallagher

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