A dialogue between George W. Bush and Sarah Palin.
The following conversation will take place in January 2011 after the Republican Party is nearly wiped from the face of the earth in the 2010 mid-term elections. It is the first event to take place at the Bush Presidential Library in Dallas Texas which isn’t scheduled to be competed until 2013. As President Bush once famously stated “We have to be ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen.” This is an advance transcript of an event that may or may not happen. The moderator, who may or may not still be there, is Michael Steele the besieged chairman of the Republican Party.
Mr. Steele: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the beautiful George W. Bush Presidential Library on this historic occasion. Here tonight, two of our nation’s most visionary thinkers will lay out a path to the resurgence of the Republican Party so that we can take our country back. Here, without further ado, for opening statements, I give you former President George W. Bush and the next president of the United States, Sarah Palin.
Mr. Bush: Thank you, thank you Michael. Hello Sarah (Mr. Bush reaches over to shake hands with Ms. Palin seated next to him.), good to see you. Hello America and welcome to my Presidential Library – they did a heck of a job on this place didn’t they? This is one good looking complex of building with all these papers and documents makes me feel like reading something. (Mr. Bush laughs and his shoulders shrug up and down.) Anyhow, you’ll know what we here for. Our party took one heck of a beating in that last election and we are here to showcase the lady who will lead the party back to victory like I did. I was able to convince the American people to give me two terms to serve them as their president and I’m gonna transfer some of that power of convincing to Sarah. I just got one thing to warn her ‘bout. When you appoint someone to head your vice presidential selection committee, make it clear to whoever it is, that they can’t choose themselves. That didn’t work so well for me. Sarah, what this country neesd now is a straight talking leader who can take this country forward. You see, our party has been stopping the action, all we say is no to this and no to that. We been standing still, looking backwards from the past. We need a leader who can get things done to the American people and Sarah; I know you can do it.
Mr. Steele: Ms. Palin, your opening statement please.
Ms. Palin: Thank you Mr. Steele. Thank you Mr. President (Ms. Palin touches Mr. Bush’s arm lightly) for inviting me to the opening night of your library. It’s an honor to be the first one here. And I want to publicly thank you for your confidence in me and for standing up for our brave troops while they were in a war fighting for America. I will do the same when I am your president. Looking at you I bet people are thinking they’re going to be interested in Jesus Christ through because of the way you look: this red-headed Sasquatch for Jesus. I may not answer the questions the way you and the moderator want to hear, but my record is out there and my life is out there. What I want to argue about is how are we to get there to positively effect the impacts we have got to clean up this planet. I believe that there is a plan for this world, and that plan is for good. I believe there is great hope and great potential for every country to be able to live and be protected with inalienable rights that I believe are God-given. And I believe that those are the rights to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That in my world view is a grand, grand plan.
Mr. Steele: Thank you both for your opening statements. Now the floor is yours to discuss the issues in foreign and domestic policies in a free flowing way, as you may.
Mr. Bush: I’m conservative, but I’m not nuts about it. Our nation must come together to unite. I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.
Ms. Palin: Only dead fish go with the flow.
Mr. Bush: I didn’t grow up in the ocean — as a matter of fact — near the ocean — I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean. And I particularly like it when I’m fishing.
Ms. Palin: My family fish for a living. We fish in the ocean. And you know you can actually see Russia from an island in Alaska. This is a perspective into how small our world is and how important it is that we work with our allies to keep the good relations with all of these countries, especially Russia.
Mr. Bush: We want Americans to be happy and we want them to be successful, that’s my jobs when I was president. That will be your goal when you’re president. The question is what a president does to make his people happy and successful. There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably Tennessee, that says, fool me once, shame on you, fool me – you can’t get fooled again. You see, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.
Ms. Palin: I see the kind of America where the pro-America areas are in charge, you know the real America. I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door. Show me where open door is.
Mr. Bush: We need new leadership in this country. America is still a land where the economy makes it hard to put food on your family.
Ms. Palin: There’s been so many words over the state of America, we being the head and not the tail and I see things now in the works it seems like, things like, that’s coming to fruition. Things are percolating! Thanks are coming along, and just, you know, I’m praying for an outpouring of God’s spirit here, that revival will be in America. I’m not looking at poll numbers. What I think Americans at the end of the day are going to be able to go back and look at the track records and see who’s more apt to be talking about solutions and wishing for and hoping for solutions for some opportunity to change, and who actually done it.
Mr. Bush: Well said Sarah. My administration did everything it could to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We made the right decisions to bring the solution to an end. I was reminded that without data, without fact, without information, the discussion means that a person is just another opinion.
Ms. Palin: If it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me. I believe that the best of America is in the small towns that I get to visit and in the little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very pro-America areas of this great nation. This where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans. This is the America I want to progress.
Mr. Bush: In the 2012 elections, the Republican Party is going to have to show the American people that we have learned the lessons of the past. We are going to need to stick to our core issues, but be willing to change them for minority voters to like them. Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people —what I mean is we need a big tent theory.
Ms. Palin. If the media convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of first Amendment rights.
Mr. Bush. You’ve got to take the fight to the Democrat’s. All these charges they’re throwing out against you in Alaska even after you’ve been out of office so long a time. They can’t on every issue, take the high house then claim the low road.
Ms. Palin: I think that on a national level your Department of Law in the white house would look at some of the things that we’ve been charged with and automatically throw them out. How sad the Washington and the media will never understand; it’s about the country.
Mr. Bush: All politics is local, so remember to talk the voter’s pocketbooks. In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I ended on a recession. So I analyzed that and decided I didn’t want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression I abandoned free market principles to save the free market system.
Mr. Steele: It looks like our time has run out. There is just a minute for each of you to have a final say – first Ms. Palin.
Ms. Palin; Well, I think because I’m a Washington outsider that, that opponents are going to looking for a whole lot of things that they can criticize and the kinda try to beat the candidate here to kind of tear down the ticket. But as foreign policy, you know I think that I am prepared and I certainly well be ready. I’ll be ready. I have confidence. I have the readiness. And if you want specifics, specific policy or countries, go ahead and you can ask me. You can play “Stump the Candidate” if you to. But I’m ready to serve.
Mr. Bush: In my sentences I go where no man has done before.