Fox’s fantasmo “real-time” suspense hit 24 wraps up its rip snorting fifth season tonight with hours 23 and 24 running back-to-back, providing 120 minutes of gut-wrenching, sphincter-clenching action as Kiefer Sutherland’s Jack Bauer takes on the entire Executive Branch of the U.S. government in addition to Central Asian terrorists currently gassing it up on a nuclear-armed submarine.
What will happen? The question is being murmured on tense, perspiring lips across the land. In this exclusive preview clip from AOL TV, Jack and a crack team assault the sub while its missile doors open ominously. Via the magic of electronic communication devices, Jack asks omniscient Chloe what this means for their time frame.
In this clip Jack and Henderson are in the sub enlisting the recon aid of a doomed seaman who somehow survived the gas attack. Chills, baby!
Jeff Kouba, May Kay Williams, and Victor Lana have been methodically, wildly entertainingly following the action all season long. What are their thoughts on tonight’s finale?
FOX could make a fortune selling “graphic violence warning” T-shirts. Er, at least I’d buy one.
Why doesn’t Bierko just sail the sub to Central Asia and attack Russia with the missiles? The first of his endless string of amazing plans was to attack Russia, after all.
Will Spenser Wolff spend the last episode singing “Where do broken hearts go, can they find their way home?”
Will CTU remember to go free the bank manager’s wife?
Will they retrieve the dead bank manager from the police car?
Will they declare Wayne Palmer as Missing In Action?
Did Collette survive the gas attack?
Will the Russian slave girl find a new and better life?
Did Kim’s boyfriend take her out of the city as Jack ordered?
And why hasn’t Jack expressed worry about Kim lately?
Mary Kay Williams:
There have been rumors and speculation about how Day Five will play out.
Let’s analyze these quickly.
1. Audrey will get killed off.
Could be true, after all, she’s wearing more white. Also, Kim Raver reportedly signed with another show for next fall.
2. Jack will end up in a Chinese prison.
Well, I think if their spies are worth their soy sauce, somebody over there must realize that Bauer is actually alive – that is if Logan hasn’t notified the Chinese directly.
3. Chloe and Edgar will hook up.
4. Jack will off Logan.
He may want to in the absolute worst way, but he’s going to try to take the high road and let Henderson do it.
5. Jack will off Henderson.
Also, could we get a statistic on the increase in retail sales of hoodies? I mean, they’re magical and everything!
The white blouse – exactly how will it be soiled?
I think we ought to petition FOX to get some different product placements for next year. Between American Idol and 24, the whole ‘Ford’ thing is getting old. How about if they are shown eating something from Subway — oh wait — they don’t eat. My bad.
Furthermore, I looked back at my early thoughts after watching the first four hours of the show.
“First off, there are some basic tenets of 24 that we must remember.
1. Chloe kicks ass
2. Characters must make wise wardrobe choices at the outset, because they will be wearing those clothes for the next 24 hours, not to mention all the television ads and “next week on 24,” and “last week on 24.”
3. Not a lot of smiling
4. Jack Bauer is never, ever, ever wrong.
5. The CTU telephones DO sound just like the ones in your office – and yes, it gets annoying.
6. Helicopters are always around when you need one!”
I’m thinking that numbers 1, 3 and 6 definitely hold true even as we wind down in hour last two hours of Day Five.
As far as Jack Bauer being wrong – well, he has made a few mistakes. He trusted Henderson in their first episode together, following him into some sort of computer bunker, and Henderson locked him in and tried to blow him up.
He also trusted President Logan, but not without misgivings.
He really really should have kneed Miles in the crotch while he had the chance. That was a huge mistake!
As far as the wardrobe goes, Audrey has changed her clothes a couple times, and so has First Lady Martha Logan. I think I’ve seen Martha in at least three or four different outfits ranging from the runaway PJs, to the transcript-hiding cleavage blouse, to the black Spy Game clothes she’s sporting now, complete with leather gloves.
Since I haven’t worked in an office in over ten years, I really can’t vouch for the way the phone sounds – but that’s my guess!
Here are just some things I think (and not necessarily wish) will happen on the two-hour season finale of the hit Fox TV series 24:
Bierko and his men will target the Presidential Retreat and CTU Headquarters with the missiles from the submarine.
Audrey’s white blouse is in definite need of laundering before the two hours are over.
Kim will be kidnapped and used as a pawn to bring Jack in from the cold (perhaps by the Chinese or the Gang of Four).
Martha and Pierce will do the hustle and find a way to expose Logan.
Jack reluctantly trusts Henderson to stop the missile attack.
Henderson will try to double-cross Jack.
Henderson will indeed end up with that bullet in his head (as Jack warned him) last week.
Bierko and his men will die on the submarine (perhaps Jack will blow it up or set one of the missiles to implode).
Jack will somehow enlist Aaron Pierce’s help to get inside the retreat.
Mike will try to help Jack but realize that he must also save his own butt.
Logan will be confronted by Jack (as seen in previews) but will escape with his life and be forced to resign in disgrace.
Secretary Heller will announce his presidential aspirations to Audrey.
Audrey will get killed in some kind of crossfire.
Jack will have succeeded in bringing down Logan without killing him, but in a sneaky underhanded move, CTU (or someone else like Heller) will be forced to turn Jack over to the Chinese.
Season 6 will start with Jack finding a way to escape the Chinese and be on the run.
Let’s see how right I am tonight.
Klaatu Barada Nikto!