Chyna cited as cause of steroid use.
Written by Joe Wilson
TRENTON, New Jersey (PoopyCaca.com) – A new study by the Centers for Disease Control and Harvard University shows that girls as young as 9 years old are using steroids, not to perform better in sports, but to look like former professional wrestler, Chyna.
“We had no idea how popular Chyna is nor how much of an influence her being a cast member on ‘The Surreal Life’ is having on young American girls,” said Jason Sloane, a professor of Amazon women culture studies at Harvard University, who “really, really, really enjoyed the study.”
Chyna, who now goes by the name Joanie Laurer, began wrestling in the World Wrestling Federation in 1997, after she proved her gender to the baffled members of the WWF crack medical squad… several times. The muscular Chyna left the WWF in 2000 to pursue opportunities in the giant, muscular women field.
The head of the Harvard Amazon women development division, Dr. Richard Crumb, said that most young women used steroids in the past to control their weight, until now. “They all idolize Chyna, they want to look like her, talk like her, walk like her and we found an alarming number of girls who are taking testosterone pills, shots and creams to emulate this exquisite, perfect female specimen we call Chyna. Check out the pecs on her.”
The study concluded that the rise of steroid use in young women will result in a segment of the female population that will kick your ass if you say anything about how huge they are.